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Circus Maggots - released October 1996 - Lyrics

Circus Maggots Lyrics

90 minutes. The tape was painted black with some colored writing on it, and had two covers: one of the Pizard by Reuben Vinal, and one with a gothic looking skull drawn by Daniel "Toast" Bradford.
A classic.

The CD version is a double CD with 10 bonus tracks.

BUY

S = sound file L = lyrics T = transcription

disc 1

X L X   01. Piz Comeback '96 1:52
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
laidies and gentlemen, please welcome the piz:
the special drummist, paul henry;
"thank you, i pay my taxes"
the sorcerer, bassist jonbobby mcfee;
"give it up to me, baby"
the nifty guitarer, reuben vinal;
"bow down to me my minions, for i am great and you are small"
the singist, robbie cushman;
"uh, yeah"

S L S   02. A bunch of jocks 1:39
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
I'll wake up at 6:30
go to the weight room take a pee
lay on the bench, lift some weights
got to look good for my hot dates
Grab my Nike® shoes and hat
Oh yeah don't forget my bat

chorus-
We're a bunch of jocks! We're a bunch of jocks!

Yesterday I won a game
Boy I sure do get all the fame
None of that long hair is for me
I'd rather look like Mr. T
Maybe I'll go pierce my ea
Then I'll go drink some bee

(chorus)

I get along with all the teachers
some day I'll marry all the preachers
I beat up all the little faggots
Buy the new Piz tape Circus Maggots

(chorus)

X L X   03. Encouraging advice from our peers 0:04
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
that was good

X L X   04. 12 lb. Pork Chop 3:04
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
When I'm eating in my dreams now
I think of cherry and yellow ice cream now
My bed starts talking I use the shaver to respond
This sometimes makes me wonder what is wrong

(chorus 1)

Reaching into my pocket only to find the butterfly's tooth
And that I'm working at a circus booth
The world may go 'round and 'round
but my life is going down and down

(chorus 2)

X L S   05. The Monkey Song 3:14
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed
one fell off and cracked his head
mama called the doctor and the doctor said,
"no more monkeys jumping on the bed"

(Four...Three...Two...)

One little monkey jumping on the bed
it fell off and broke its head
blood everywhere, now it's dead,
no more monkeys jumping on the bed

No little monkeys jumping on the bed
they fell off the goddamn bed
mama called the doctor and the doctor said,
"come on, baby, lets's get in bed"
no more monkeys

S L S   06. Little Sally 0:17
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
Little Sally was sitting around
Little Sally looks at the ground
Little Sally was sitting around
and then she died

S L S   07. Evil Bob vs. Jerry 1:58
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
Come on Jerry, give me the money.
I don't got it, Evil Bob. Don't shoot. Please don't shoot.
(machine gun fire)
I think Jerry's dead.
Ya think so?
toe moe snow go row grow bro tow blow no glow poe sew show hoe fro stow
joe bow yo oh slow though woe pro cho dough flow low co. zo crow quo vo

S L S   08. Big Banana Generation 2:10
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
There I see her, she's lookin' really neat
There I see her, she's standin' by my feet
My oh my, whatcha gonna do
My oh my, she's by my shoe
It's a big banana. I'm going to eat you!

chorus-
Big Banana! Gonna eat you!

My dad walks in, I think he wants some
I said, "No, I only got one."

And I quickly run away
And I quickly run away
And I quickly run away
And I quickly run away

(chorus)
(repeat first verse)
(chorus)

Banana peel down by my feet
Banana peel, it's lookin' really neat
My oh my whatcha gonna do
My oh my gonna eat you too

(chorus)

X L X   09. Rip it off 0:10
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
you ready robbie?
oh i'm just rippin' my pants

X L S   10. Anti-Drug Song 3:41
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
Pot is good (to put flowers in)
Crack is good (just don't step on it)
Needles are good (to sew stuff up)
Pipes are good (for your toilet)
Lighters are good (to light incense)
Acid is good (in your stomach)
Coke® Can's good (to store soda in)
Bongs are good (they come after bing)
Heroine is good (to save the day)
Alcohol's good (to heal your wounds)
Joints are good (in your knees and elbows)
Mushrooms are good (on your pizza)

X L X   11. Signs of Chaos 2:05
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
Signs of Chaos

X L S   12. My Wardrobe & Dinner 0:17
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
I wear a jacket with my Ninja Turtle® hat
I eat a rabbit when I grow 'em really fat

X L X   13. Wobbly Gus 2:32
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
Gus, Gus, he rides the bus
He talks nonstop is he talking to us?
Who knows? His toes.
He's funny like Jon P. Nuss
He's wobbly, he falls down
He trips over things when he's downtown
Wobbly Gus! Wobbly Gus!
He trips on phones Wobbly Gus!
He breaks his bones Wobbly Gus!
He falls in bushes Wobbly Gus!
He falls on stones Wobbly Gus!

X L X   14. The Jizake 3:06
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
It's looking at me, everlasting
kind of like a bright light
but no end and no beginning
I could now make it out, sort of a rose.
Yes, there it is
Maybe it could fly so I called it over
Yes it's coming, coming, coming over
I could touch it
I could suck it
I could kick it
It's out of reach- oh god I can't get it
Please come back, please come back
you don't understand the pain
this black mass spreads over me,
the evil has touched me, taken me in
I can't get out, it's too dark,
please let me out
I can't stand the dark
only the evil eats my mind
you have taken the goodness in my heart,
evil death in my veins.
oh please help me

i don't want to die

X L X   15. Special Input 0:14
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
wait how are we gonna start?
you idiot!
that sounds good to me
yippity-doopity

S L X   16. Conceited 3:16
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
I'm conceited
I'm conceited, I'm conceited
I'm so so so so so so so
I'm conceited, I'm conceited
I'm conceited
Hey, I'm conceited too
since we're both conceited, that means
We're conceited, We're conceited
We're conceited, We're conceited
We're conceited
Hey, I saw you guys over here, and I know you want me to join you
Well, since we're, yknow
Yeah
We're conceited, We're conceited
We're conceited, We're conceited
We're conceited
Like, hey Buffy, I'm gonna join you in this groovy set
Hey, cool man
We're conceited, We're conceited
We're conceited, We're conceited
We're conceited
Guys, I'm way too, uh, popular for you guys, uh, I gotta go
We're conceited, We're conceited
We're conceited, We're conceited
We're conceited
Wait, hold on, you guys are just not cool enough for me so, like, I'm outta here
Whatever
Sure
We're conceited, We're conceited
We're conceited, We're conceited
We're conceited
You know what, Reuben®, you suck compared to me and you know the Gap® closes in an hour so I gotta go
Fine
I'm conceited, I'm perfect
I'm the greatest man who ever lived
I'm a corn muffin, I'm play-doh
I'm a blueberry, I'm a chess piece
I'm a squirt gun, I'm a Gummi Bear®
I'm a Burger King® hat
I'm a bathtub, I'm the president
I'm your left toenail
I'm nitrogen, I'm four o'clock
I'm Texas®, I'm a kindergarten teacher, I'm Jupiter
I'm a shoelace, I'm Aerosmith®, I'm Cap'n Crunch®, I'm 32 cents
I'm a toilet, you can flush me, whshh whshhhh whshh whhshhh
I'm a test tube, I'm the Bible®, I'm Hulk Hogan®, I'm Mr. Paz, I'm peanut butte
I'm root beer, I'm a doorknob, I'm a toothpick, I'm a little guy stuck in a fat guy
I'm Yoda®, I'm Jello®, I'm a Band-Aid®, I'm Picasso®, I'm your grampa
I'm a crayon, I'm God®, I'm God
I'm God I'm God I'm God I'm God®, I'm Jesus Christ®, I'm God
I®'m the Pizard®

X L X   17. Call of the day 2:19
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
don't let my corpse rot and waste
eat it while it's fresh and good in taste
when i am dead erase my head
and resurrect me by painting me a new face
make sure you have carbon-based paints
or when in the bath i'll make complaints
of my face melting away and my life down the drains
and i'll feel run down whenever it rains

we didn't call ashleigh
and we didn't record it
and i didn't record this over it when we put it on our tape
'cause that would be embarrassing
so we didn't do it

X L S   18. Ashleigh 1:38
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
Ashleigh
she has black hair
she has a black skirt
she has lack lips
she has a Smiths shirt
she has black boots
Ashleigh, Ashleigh
Ashleigh, Ashleigh
she has black hair
she has black boots
But she doesn't have black teeth
No she doesn't have black teeth
She's gothic
Ashleigh

X L S   19. Mr. Dog 0:18
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
I like to eat dog food, I like to drink dog water,
And I love to sniff people's crotches and butts

X L X   20. Slobbering Bill 1:00
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
Bill is a punk rocker
He might wear one sock or
He might wear two
(Bill!)
He likes to slobber
Is it his job or
just something to do
(Bill! Bill!)
Slobbering Bill
doot doot dee doo
Slobbering Bill
doot doot dee doo

X L X   21. Rent-a-Cop Bob 4:04
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
Rent-a-Cop Bob, Rent-a-Cop Bob
He has no teeth so his corn's off the cob
Rent-a-Cop Bob

chorus-
Rent-a-Pig has no teeth
Mr. Bob's gonna get beat
Don't harass me cause then you'll die
Gonna hit you, then you die

Rent-a-Cop Bob, Rent-a-Cop Bob
He never spills his soda, he's no slob
Rent-a-Cop Bob

(chorus)

Rent-a-Cop Bob, Rent-a-Cop Bob
Says,"Get off the table" cause that's his job
Rent-a-Cop Bob

(chorus)

Rent-a-Cop Bob, Rent-a-Cop Bob
When he opens a door, he turns the knob
Rent-a-Cop Bob, Rent-a-Cop Bob
He never spills his soda, he's no slob

(chorus)

X L X   22. Headin' for Heaven 0:09
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
just hit it hard
cracked it
aw man

X L S   23. Cornwallis in the Fray 3:06
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
Never follow a self-crowned king
into a fight against your old friends
Don't refuse the bread they bring
and take the head it lends
Don't use your brain, it'll get in the way
of your thoughts and give the wrong meaning
Just use your legs and you can block all the gray
Get into the white by going for the black-seeming
Pretend you're Cornwallis in the middle of the fray
Make believe you're a needle hidden forever in the hay.
Just imagine you aren't cool

Ass on a stick, you are dead

X L S   24. Too Many Pancakes 2:28
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
When you eat
too many pancakes
When you eat
too many Frosted Flakes®
When you eat
too many pancakes
You get a big old nasty headache
doodle doo doot doo doodle doodle doo doot,
doodle doo doot doo doodle doodle doo doot.

X L S   25. My bath 0:17
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
I jump in my bath, i make a big a splash,
then I get the rope and I eat my soap

X L X   26. Coffee Can, Cream soda 0:30
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
Coffee can, cream soda
Coffee can, cream soda
Coffee can, cream soda, sandwich, mayonnaise
Got a can of mayonnaise in my pocket

X L X   27. Psychedelic song 0:41
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
oh man. groovy.

X L X   28. Jizake Test 1 1:19
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
-instrumental-

X L X   29. Cornwallis in the Fray (Dance mix) 1:30
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
Ass on a stick, you are dead

X L X   30. Conceited (nonexistent version) 2:45
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
-different ending:-
I'm conceited, I'm conceited
I'm so conceited I'm conceited
I'm loony I'm crazy I'm insane I'm crazy I'm conceited
And I'm so crazy that I'm loony and insane
Yeah I'm crazy I'm loony I'm insane I'm a corn muffin
I'm insane I'm crazy and I
Hey what's going on
I'm crazy I'm crazy
Eahh

X L X   31. Broadway 0:25
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
We really got it this time
We're gonna be on Broadway
With everybody on Broadway
I'm sorry
I love my microphone

X L X   32. The Monkey Song (take 6) 4:19
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
-same lyrics-

disc 2

X L X   01. Procrastination 2:48
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
I want to yell but I am dumb
I have money but I'm a bum
Where did all my hate come from
I wish I was dead, I wish I was numb
procrastination sucks
Why do you wear pants that don't fit
Why do I stand when I can sit
My hair smells nice but it tastes like
a really big rhinoceros
at the zoo.
procrastination sucks
I love you but I hate me
Cheese crisp runoff looks like pee
I fall down and scrape my knee
If I don't hug you I'll hug a tree
procrastination sucks

X L X   02. Hicks are the best 2:29
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
I was sitting in my farm spitting on some pigs,
when along came miss pretty and I tore off her wig
We jumped on some horses and rode out of town
I stopped her at a spot where we couldn't be found
Then we done had a hoe down!
Yee haw!

chorus-
It all goes to show that hicks are the best,
hicks are the best, hicks are the best,
It all goes to show that hicks are the best.

Now you may like them clean fancy ways,
But we like sloshin' through mud and that's okay
Cause you rich folks just don't know fun but hicks do
Now let's have a hoedown, hon!

(chorus)

X L X   03. Nice & Fresh 0:25
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
or we can go this fast.
pot is good
i am confused

X L X   04. The formation of storefront anxiety 0:57
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
The formation of storefront anxiety
In a pillow of anger, sheets of hatred you rest
As you always say, you sleep only with the best
You're afraid of me, so you beat me up,
To show yourself there's nothing to be scared of.
I am the sickness which plagues the asshole community
I am all that provides you jerks with unity
I am all that stops you from killing each other
For this I hated myself but now I don't bother
I am your savior and your enemy
You kill me, you kill yourself.
Can you name me?

X L X   05. Super Bourbon 2:17
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
Jamie and the weasel playing happily
Jamie steps in the weasel's little pee
Jamie throws the weasel Jimmy in a Lego® house
Jimmy takes off his little polka-dotted blouse
Then he tries to get out of the dumb house
Stuck in there like a fat gray mouse

chorus-
Super Bourbon
Super Bourbon

Along came Super Bourbon to save the day
His favorite little animal, a weasel. (YAY!)
He tries to fight Jamie but she's too strong
Jamie knocked him over like she was King Kong

(chorus)

"Don't worry Jimmy, I'll save you"
"I'm the man who knows Goatee-Fu"
Super Bourbon takes Jamie by surprise
Hits her with his goatee right in her eyes (WHACK!)
Super Bourbon helped the weasel and saved the day
Everybody yell, "yippy-o-yay"
YIPPY-O-YAY
YIPPY-O-YAY

X L S   06. Amber 0:17
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
I suck amber, I eat bladder
I don't know what the hell's the matter

X L S   07. Cop Man 1:59
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
My name is Cop Man I'll do the best I can throw your butt in jail
and make your life a living hell I'm Cop Man
I'm Cop Man
I'm Cop Man boy do I love donuts
That's what gives us big fat butts I'm Cop Man
I'm Cop Man
I may be a pig but that's o.k. did you break any laws today?
I'm sure you did 'cause I'm a pig I'm Cop Man
I'm Cop Man
I'm Cop Man and I'm Dunkin' Donuts'® best fan
Throw my pig butt in the frying pan
I'm Cop Man

X L X   08. Security Guy Joe 2:51
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
Security Guy Joe, Security Guy Joe
He rides his bike and he stubs his toe
What's he doing? We don't know
He follows us around wherever we go
Does he really have a life? No.
That's why he's Security Guy Joe

X L X   09. Wussy Thrash 0:29
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
-instrumental-

X L S   10. Slippin' my speech in your soup 1:58
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
wanga wanga wanga wanga daa daa daa,
wanga wanga wanga wanga poopie poopie poopie poopie

X L X   11. Oogygazoinksnik 3:14
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)

X L S   12. The little devil 0:18
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
A little devil ran down the street
he turned and looked at me and tripped on his feet

X L X   13. Toast 2:01
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
I get all the chicks I'm Toast
I dress like Trent I'm Toast
My name is Daniel I'm Toast
I like U2 I'm Toast
I wear a trench coat I'm Toast
I wear black makeup I'm Toast
I'm Jack I'm Toast I'm gothic I'm Toast
I'm Banana Head I'm Toast
I've got real high boots I'm Toast
I'll give you a hug I'm Toast
I get all the chicks I'm Toast

X L X   14. unspoken 3:40
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
unspoken

X L X   15. Paul's Speedy Tempo 0:23
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
do i hear four?
four songs left!
five four four
we gotta hurry man, come on
dang let's do it at this tempo
just really super-dupe
deh
okay
i'll go that fast with you

X L X   16. look 1:29
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
Look above you in the sky
don't you think that you will die
while you eat some apple pie
Look above you, at the sky.

Look below you at the ground
don't you feel that you will drown
while you fall upside-down
Look below you, at the ground.

Look beside you at the trees
don't you think that you're a tease
while you sing pretty please
Look beside you, at the trees.

Look inside you at yourself
don't you think that you need help
while you sit and kill brain cells
Look inside you, at yourself.

Look at the world and the things around
now turn your head upside down
take this earth and treat it well
because then your kids won't be in hell

X L X   17. insanity 3:50
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
I've got rubber chickens in my brain,
worms and masturbation and it's drivin me insane.
My head is on the fritz and I'm goin down fast,
the way that I am going I don't think that I will last.
VAMPIRES are lookin for me left and to the right,
sucking my blood right through the night.
I've got the mighty morphin' crotch cricket on my head,
and with the powder puff girls I know that I am dead.
Coming home with me is the monkey leg hair,
I'm mentally insane and I know cause I'm aware.
My brain is really fried and I'm really paranoid,
I'm a giant purple cow and my name is Pink Floyd.
I'm fallin' through space without a care,
I've got pretty yellow shoes but I don't want to share.
Look through my eyes and see the past
only one person knows who will last
Release your time and let us be free
oh how fun it will be
Float in your waste and flesh
now your brain is turning to mesh
cut me off from this string
Don't worry I can fly with my wings
Take my hand and I'll lead the way
into tomorrow and back through today

X L S   18. Jimbo 0:18
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
You can spell my name: J-I-M-B-O
You can spell my name: J-I-M...B-O...yeah, B-O

X L X   19. Down with the Colonel 2:26
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
Down with the Colonel
Don't eat the chicken
Down with the Colonel
Down with their damn chicken
Chickens on parade
Down with the Colonel
Up with the donuts
Down with the Colonel
Chicken up, Colonel down
Don't eat the chicken
Guten Sausage Biscuit
Down with the Colonel
Chicken down Colonel
Chickens on the strike
Don't eat the chicken
Down with the Colonel
Down with the Colonel
Don't eat the chicken
Piss in their bathroom
Down with the turtles

X L X   20. Invisible Dan the invisible Man 1:29
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
Invisible Dan the invisible man
When he's in the sun he can't get a tan
He'd play the piano
but he can't see his hand
Invisible Dan the invisible man

Who stole the cookies
from the cookie can?
"Don't look at me," said Invisible Dan

Invisible Dan the invisible guy
He's lookin at you
butcha can't see his eye
He'd zip up his pants
but he can't see his fly
Invisible Dan the invisible guy

Invisible Dan the invisible dude
He's invisible
so he can walk around nude
When he gets hungry he eats some food
Invisible Dan the invisible dude

X L S   21. How do they do it? 0:18
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
Why did we do so many songs like this?
We're insane, We're insane, We're insane, We're insane,
We're insane, We're insane, We're insane, in-sane!

X L X   22. I love Josh 7:14
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
-instrumental-

X L X   23. Paul's purple dress 2:57
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
Paul: Hey guys, like my hair?
Reuben: Yeah, it's neato
Robbie: I think you look like Eli which makes you look like a dork
jonbobby mcfee: What are you trying to say about dorks
Paul: Yeah, dorks don't like being called Paul & Eli
Robbie: Let's go play some pool
Reuben: I'm a cool kat
Robbie: What are you talking about
Paul: I'll play some pool with you
jonbobby mcfee: I hate you because you're fake, so I'm gonna play pool as well
Robbie: It all depends upon my special technique; I always either win or lose
Reuben: I said I'm a cool katty-o-kat
Robbie: You can just go stand by some people that think you're a dog & cat language
Paul: I feel like Robbie's an idiot when ha says that and I'm in this purple dress
jonbobby mcfee:Take it off yeah, yeah, yeah
Robbie: Who wants to break
Reuben: I'll break your head if you don't let me talk to a dog or cat
Paul: I'll break
jonbobby mcfee: I get to kill the winner because they're either fake or a school bus drive
Robbie: hey, everybody exercise a friendly relationship because we're getting too violent for things

(intermission)

Robbie: Hey guys, want to get some ice cream
Paul: Yeah, ice cream's superdeeduperly
jonbobby mcfee: Yeah, I want a double-dip dungsicle
Paul: Mmm, those are good
Reuben: I like Ice cream
Paul: Oh my, this ice cream's infested with circus maggots
Reuben: And there's Pat Sajak
jonbobby mcfee: I think I pee my pants
Robbie: Hey, you got ice cream on your shirt
Reuben: Hey, thanks cutie. Can you lick it off for me
Robbie: Sure sweetheart
Reuben: Thanks, cupcake
Paul: You guys are so weird

X L X   24. Super Bourbon's Washing Machine 0:57
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
-instrumental-

X L X   25. The Quarter Blues 0:38
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
So I was like in the mall the other day and I was gonna call Paul, right . . .
And I grabbed in my pocket and I had like two or three dollars worth of change in there.
I was looking for

X L X   26. The Monkey Song (take 8940302) 0:18
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
Shut up

X L X   27. The Monkey Song (take 0.45369) 0:22
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
I don't know
I don't know how the song goes anymore

X L X   28. Orange Banana Pie 0:39
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
alalrmanalrallalalallalallaalaa
Orange banana pie

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