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Diverse Uniform - released October 2001 - Lyrics

Diverse Uniform Lyrics

Holy cow, that is a lot of oxymorons.


S = sound file L = lyrics T = transcription

X L X   01. He Ordered Chaos 0:09
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)

X L S   02. Protruding Cavity 0:58
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
his fu-manchu is dyed blue to match his kung fu shoes
he struck a pose as he froze but for the wind on his clothes
and slower than the speed of sound, his opponent was aground
both fists flew after punches he threw as he read a book
and tied his shoe
even as your slave, he is the master of you
he can sit back and watch as his knee hits your crotch
he can run to the liquor store while he's kicking you
ass because he's so fast
he's the grandmaster of

S L S   03. Growing Shorter 1:52
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
before time, there was only me
in no time at all, I was doing nothing
before me, there was only time
dandelions often see me as a scary thing
carrot pirates recruit Lego®s on an off day-zing!
Winnebagor way by jazz drain I lakes woodpeck
skin the in lay I as rain my bakes gooseneck
froglet eat me, and mooseling beat me
dog is stupid, come on let's dance
Bluehead wins again for the second year in a row
at the stuff-jumping show for the sit-jump-and-throw
"wow," they say, "way to go!"
gooseneck bakes my rain as I lay in the skin
woodpeck lakes I drain jazz by way Winnebagor
(at the sit-jump-and-throw...)

S L X   04. Convenient Obstacles 2:38
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
alone and confused with nothing to lose
I set out for the city with nothing but my shoes
which happen to be blue or green or yellow or red
don't ask me, I'm not right in the head
but maybe left, that's the way I should go
I'll ask people 'cause they don't really know
what's wrong and that's what I think
I asked a guy for money but he gave me the colour pink
that's strange, I thought to myself
I'll go ask my car, maybe he can give me help
but he didn't, but that's okay
that wasn't the first thing that I learned that day
what I really thought, was the guy was mad
I asked him what's the cheese because it was glad
but that doesn't really make sense
I had myself a dollar when I put on my pants
this morning, or was it the other day
I don't really know 'cause I'm confused today
that's all right, I'll go to the store
maybe they can help me slam my head to the floor
and bleed until my brain falls out
all the pretty ladies will come and scream and shout
at my pants, they have a dollar
that's not what they said to me but I told him
and they laughed when I tried to fly
look at me, now I'm going to die
that's not funny, but I think it is
'cause my head's confused, can I have his?
my head's confused in my brain
my brain's confused in my head
my brain's confused and my head's combrain
brain's confused, head's combrain
brain, confused in the head
head head, confused

X L X   05. White Shadow 0:45
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
I get out of bed at the break of dawn
I rub my sleepy eyes, then give a big yawn
I take a warm shower and then I get dressed
I have to look good 'cause you dress to impress
I eat my pancakes and my broccoli by twos
I drink all my juice, then I put on my shoes
it's time to get going, no time to dilly-daddle
yes it's another great day, just me and my shadow

X L X   06. Famous Danish Castles 0:09
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
I wanna talk to Misty

S L S   07. Gigantically Svelte 2:25
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
sometimes I wonder, can the hippos see me
underwater where they swim lightly
the gods banned them because they ate up the grass
do I want to pet 'em? no, think that I'll pass
sometimes I wonder all about life
is it a spoon or is it a knife
does it make sense I don't know
is it my finger or is it my toe
but I like them under the water
I wonder sometimes is breathing much harder
or maybe soft like a big fluffy pillow
here comes one now I say hello
"how are you?" but he doesn't answer me
I don't think he can talk but I know he can see
D that's the letter that comes next
I wonder if D and E have sex
or maybe they just hug
I wonder do they have microscopic bugs
on them you know on their body
yeah I think that D is a hottie
not cold like an ice cream cone
ow my head hurts and I wanna go home
to my bed, mmmm sleep is good
I cover myself up with my blanket hood
hippos eatin' grass
hippos eatin' grass

X L X   08. Highly Advanced Stupidity 0:04
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
oh how
poopy on the floo
takatakatak tooey takatooey

X L S   09. Stale Freshness 1:41
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
wake up realize there's more,
don't just stand looking in from the door
you're tired of being a corporate whore,
quit your job at the store
get yourself off the floor, stop being poor
join the military, go to war
if we all kill each other now we won't have to wait around
to bring ourselves to death, bring it to us right now
you're more tired with every breath, so don't fuss, stand proud
protect values you never had, pretend to save the world
and selectively go mad, forget about your dad, nothing's sad
when it's kill or be killed it's not just some fad
the international pastime and language in one spectacular
display not seen since the last time offer good
at participating locations while supplies last
don't pass up the opportunity to fight for unity
and see justice done, turn to dust and be one
give up lust for a gun, burn cities, bust banks have some fun
exotic, neurotic, destitute prostitutes,
foreign bars, military cars, bomb mom and her kids
and tell dad what you did, and when he flips his lid
blow it off and watch his brain fall out and his hair flutter down
have another drink and laugh run around take a bath
sleep, wake up, take a piss, bomb her sister
poison crops, murder cops, get a medal,
a new kettle, dust will settle, the fun never stops
watch the face of fear fall apart under a blanket of blood
make the place you see here wash away with the flood
of red drain away pain so just a stain remains
death is just a buffer for earthly misery
don't think things could get rougher do the duty
makes you tougher and that's what you gotta be

S L S   10. Flagrant Affection 1:51
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
if we share our gall bladder,
we can smell this love for money
like a two dollar bill
we can share our large intestine
we love us
we can smell our lung
breeding love and cash
I hear my eyes,
I mean we hear my nose
I mean you hear my mouth
we mean who hears my toes
I mean where are my toes
did you buy them
for love like a pancreas?
yeah, no, what?
let's eat the money
I don't know how to do the chorus part
I'm scared
I'm scared
ha ha ha
huh huhhuh huh
love tastes like money
with a tendon between
I sense our spleen inside the money
love dead puppies love to spend
like god holding my stomach
let's eat the money
and sell our finger
there was a bunny
but it didn't linger
they like to hop
and they don't stop
(they like to hop)
but they don't stop don't stop
(they like to hop)
hip hop hop
(but they don't stop) no stop
(uh uh) yeah yeah

X L X   11. Internal Quad Speed 0:11
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
I wanna talk to Samson

X L S   12. Vomitous Meal 2:14
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
my feet are on fire from your flame
is this some kind of joker game
well it's not funny, I don't like it
no sir no, not one bit
so I'm telling you now, you better quit
before I start to throw a fit
I'll fall on the floor and start to scream
people will stare at you and think you're mean
ha-ha, I'll laugh
that is what you get
you should be thrown into a big pit
i would if my feet weren't on fire
what are you saying that I'm a liar
well I'm not 'cause it's getting hot
I'll have to go lay down in my cot
one day I saw Jimmy come to play
and he didn't want to, couldn't stay
so he went to the playground and read some books
and then we snuck in to cook
and we cooked lots of cookies, took a bath
then we had to go in the math and math is hard
auuoan talothinkamikiri shamaonu nekurikuhikurak rekarik
rekarinarishnu edifursh enifurnifurdi lananifur der ber fli fra
lataninachinanu achunnichu chiddi chi chi cha
chiddi chi chi cha chiddi chi chi cha
chiddi chi chi cha chiddi chi chi well that was—that was crap

X L S   13. Narrow Expanse 1:23
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
when I see it there, lying on the ground
I like to put it on and dance around town
nice and brown, a little caramel candy
I like to look at you and call you dandy
a cardboard box, so nice and boxy
I give you lips and call you Roxy
boxes are good for making cars
or building a ship and flying to Mars
I go behind bars in my cardboard box
that's where I keep all my socks, in my cardboard box`

X L X   14. All of our songs are filler 0:15
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
erries taste like raspberries
the blueberries taste like blueberries
snozberries taste like snozberries

X L S   15. Knowing His Random 0:57
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
every night when I go to bed I have these dreams that run through my head I try to wake up but it does no good so I have these dreams about a guy in a hood
he looks at me and he seems a little strange 'cause when I look at his face it seems to rearrange into something else but I don't know what it could be a lion or a tiger and a butt
and now I want out of these dreams
yes I, I want to wake up
and now I want out of these dreams
said I, I want to want to wake up
but I can't so then I scream and the guy in the hood comes running after me so I run and I climb and I jump and I swing but it does no good no it doesn't do a thing

X L S   16. Deepest Surface 2:03
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
ooi man
thank you for holding
your call is very important to us
we will be with you shortly
remain seated please
please keep all hands and arms inside the vehicle at all times
so what if they don't taste like apples?
in sensation on the twentieth-Sugar Ray in concert
dinosaurs are taking over at McDonald's®!
spring is a great time to get digital cable just right for you
I don't work well when rushed
suppressed rage, cuts herself, secret cutting
you are too old to be a warlock anymore
and I demand a retest

X L X   17. Natural Artifice 2:39
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
frogs croak calls of caution
dogs bark at growing walls of fear
paranoia plagues uneasy posh
insecure in seemingly stable
positions procure unnecessary precautions
creating suspicion spreading anxious
production of useless protections
against imagined aggressions
selfish minds folding in upon themselves
over inner conflicts, paradoxes
created by assumptions based on
fallacies of connections between
capitol and contentedness
idealized theories of love leave
compassion to care for only itself
lazy business-minded individuals
sit around smoking stogies
cocktail drinking brunch munching
endeavours to keep top dogs on
top of the illusionary pyramid of
superiority, men living in egos
to mask the empty
unfulfilling lonely life they glimpse
on occasion and quickly block
with idle pastimes designed to
divert energy from self reform
to the sloth and apparent
indifference that creates so
much artificial comfort and
stability in a world seen by
few, understood by fewer
and being constantly
disassembled by everyone else
to make way for a world
that will never be any different
interrupted only by momentary
mental clarity quickly dissipated
into mad chaos by frantic
flails at humour by
ranting self-appointed sheriffs
of perpetual confusion
that is recurringly accepted
as truth nullifying faith
to destroy joy to make comfort
a physical quality only,
as life is stripped to its shallowest pleasures
and mental contemplations are
reduced to five-second scenes of
an imaginary utopia seeping into
a drooling mind front as instinct is repressed,
money replaces god, and pseudo-intellect
heads heartless businesses
full of fools with forgotten notions of
creativity, free will, and originality
(and who hardly even know what their loneliness is)

X L S   18. Dehydrated Water 1:30
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
once, when I was eight
I tried real hard to see my fate
I saw myself in a fiery blaze
all lit up, and burned for days
and once when I was forty-six
I came across two small sticks
I rubbed them together oh so fast
fire lit up, and burned my ass
burned real deep, so I jumped right up
I teached it a lesson but still it refused
so now I burn for you

X L X   19. Enjoy Popcorn 0:10
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
I wanna talk to Jesus-halleluiah

X L X   20. Dr. HipNerd 0:09
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
eeh oo ee ehh
meh oh ee oo
tatakatee ha
moko beedaha boodywood

X L S   21. Utopian Hell 1:43
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
seventy hills as dark as the moon
serenity fills a flying balloon
soaring above the heavy morose
boring a dove with a case of the slows
infectious runs blood surrounded with muck
imperfect suns flood the ground and get stuck
the fortieth grave is filled with old cream
that once was brave but was killed in a dream
the dunce's impatience was stilled with a scream
and a few dewdrops on frozen roses still gleam
a sloppy old codger with a brittle moustache
hops like a badger with a little new cash
stop the old blender and render the stove
a miser not minding the cold of the cove
the sand rains empty from the grey and the pink
and saltwater fills the day and the sink
whose fault were the pills that never drained
the malt gave me chills the day that it rained
over there the event was strange

X L X   22. Comfortable Itch 1:36
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
every time you scream, I look at you real weird
every time you run, I assume it's out of fear
please don't blame me if I'm a big scary monster
if I had my choice, I would be a red sea lobster
if you want my advice, just come a little close
I know what I am and it's not a little pose
I'm big and scary and live underneath your bed
waiting until you're asleep and then gnawing upon your head
you may open your eyes to see me staring right at you
you can try to scream and run but I wouldn't if I were you
'cause I'm a monster and believe me I run real fast
I like to eat small children although they give me lots of gas
but that's all right 'cause every night I feast upon their bones
like sugar and tea so happily I eat them like ice cream cones

X L X   23. Tar Grease Crayon 0:10
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
I wanna talk to animals

X L X   24. Ominous Particle 3:38
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
dark stormy clouds lurk off in the distance
and with my mind on high you know I'll put up a resistance
from the storm that is coming, the wind that is blowing
my body now becoming what my mind is never showing
(guitar solo)
nothing is the substance of which all things are made
our thoughts are in the infinite, hiding in the shade
all things are one, and one is into none
our fathers are our mothers and our mothers are our suns
if you know what I'm talking then it shouldn't be so shocking
just open your eyes to reality in the sky
now is the time to clear our minds of hatred
wash away our fears, leaving something sacred
(guitar solo)
this is the last of your life
this is it, now say goodbye
this is the last of your life
this is the end, now say goodbye

X L X   25. Efficient Waste 0:22
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
on the tape here is a new one
start from a fresh
now we're gonna try and do our best
but I don't think that we can
here we go let's get on with it
and start the show

S L X   26. Striped Continuum 0:57
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
fifteen miles left and falling fast
better than the rest, you'll never be the last
to sell your soul, to tap your heart
dry as a bone, to think you're smart,
to be so wrong, to die so slowly,
to live so long, to be so lonely
I know what I say doesn't really matter
to anyone not even me because you know there's nothing sadder
than thinking things you don't say, saying things you don't think
and I thrive on that depressing sort of thing

X L S   27. Pristine Dump 1:30
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
while I sit and laugh
while I sit and laugh
while I sit and laugh
while I sit and laugh
you'll be running for your life
you'll be looking for a knife
you'll marrying your wife
while I sit and laugh
you'll be eating food every day
you'll be lying in some brand new hay
you'll be floating in the milky way
while I sit and laugh
you can say what you like
you can even ride your brand-new bike
you can go for a really long hike
but I'll sit and laugh
while I sit and laugh
you can be my friend
I'll just sit and laugh
you can live to the very end
but I'll sit and laugh

X L X   28. Six Individual Packs 0:09
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
I wanna talk to Santa

X L S   29. Hardly Soft, yet Largely Small 2:14
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
soft leprechaun won't you come on and show me your rainbow
so pretty with colours, soft leprechaun
your pot of gold you hide with you
come on and let me have some fortune too soft leprechaun
I try to catch you but you're too quick
you poke me in the eye with your stick ow soft leprechaun
soft leprechaun why are you soft?
is it because you are dead soft leprechaun
soft leprechaun why don't you move
is it because you have no head soft leprechaun
oh soft leprechaun
I wish to save you let me take your pot of gold
and your rainbow too soft leprechaun
soft leprechaun I'm sorry you're dead
and I'm sorry that you have lost your head
but that is why you are a soft leprechaun
now go to bed soft leprechaun
(they're always after me Lucky Charms®...)

X L X   30. Questionable Answer 3:59
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
over and over and over again
do you ever stop to think my friend
just why is the sky oh so blue
and why do we have to wear our shoes
and why do I have hair on my head
and why do I have to sleep in my bed
and why do I have to eat every day
and why do they call it a Circle K®
I wonder why all the time
why do my songs have to rhyme
I don't know, I don't care
I wonder why it's unfair
and why do I have to have two eyes
and why do they make mince meat pies
and why do we need the light to see
and why do always have to go pee
why is the grass oh so green
and why are some people oh so mean
why do speakers come in pairs
why do we have to sit in the chairs
why can't we roll like big old wheels
why do I have to tell you how I feel
huh, huh huh...

S L X   31. The Wester Bunny 1:28
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
this here's a story about Little Bunny Fu Fu
and how he had to pay for his crimes
of bopping field mice on the head
so one day-
Little Bunny Fu Fu, hopping through the forest
picking up the field mice and bopping 'em on the head
along came the fairy and said,
"Little Bunny Fu Fu, I don't want to see you
hopping through the forest, picking up the field mice
and bopping 'em on the head"
so the very next day-
Little Bunny Fu Fu, hopping through the forest
picking up the field mice and bopping 'em on the head
down came the fairy and said,
"Little Bunny Fu Fu, this is the last time I'm going to tell you:
I don't want to see you through the forest,
picking up the field mice and bopping 'em on the head"
so the very next day-
Little Bunny Fu Fu, hopping through the forest
picking up the field mice and bopping 'em on the head
down came the fairy and said,
"that's it, Little Bunny Fu Fu, you're going to hell"
so that very night-
Little Bunny Fu Fu, hopping through the forest
picking up the field mice and bopping 'em on the head

X L X   32. Reasonably Insane 2:23
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
twice upon a time in a land called not that far
I went for a drive in a shooting star
and we landed inside of the moon
there we lived for forty-nine days
and ran in circles 'cause we were amazed
at all the stuff that we could share
my mind was a blur of fantasies
I put my hand in my eye, yet I could see
I didn't understand what was going on anymore
so I jumped off the bridge and I landed in the sky
then I noticed that my hand was still in my eye
and I started to scream
yeah you woke up this morning and you thought I was dead
but don't worry my hand is still in my head but I'm alive
yeah I'm still alive
yeah I'm still alive

X L X   33. Do Not Scratch Through This 0:09
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
I wanna talk to Venus

X L X   34. Disassembled Reconstruction 2:10
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
that zombie been eatin' your friend's brain
don't you care? what's wrong with you? don't you care?
this here the time of the year reserved for three o'clock
that the time when things get scary with big ol' ghosts
and goblins crawling up your spine
so run away now before a zombie comes eatin' you
after he's done with your friend over there
you wanna be keepin' your brains for thinkin' at school
night sure is a fright beyond the sight of no mortal man
ghosts with flaming red eyes come without disguise
gonna frighten you away
so you run there 'cause three-o'-the-clock is here
get away, zombie, get away
no, that's my medulla oblongata
no, I need those too

X L X   35. One God, Many Feces 2:26
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
black charcoal fills my soul and my brain now
silver sparkles kill the flowers in the drain yeah
take a red marker will ya colour in the rain oh
sitting in the park will put a bruise in your pain, yo
hit the skinny monster with a radioactive grapefruit
you're a funny lobster with a very attractive ape foot
something perpendicular to what I just was thinking
nothing as ridiculous as what I'm always drinking
I'm a lipstick wearing happy little housewife
and I lick sticks of butter and sometimes bite
fatty fat is what I like to ingest
and that fat is the fat that I like best
Satan came by today to say hi
he baked me cookies with M&M®'s
oatmeal evil chip so wonderful it screams
he stayed a while but by and by
he left to tie up loose ends
happy dead men whip me in my awful dreams
evil takes some pain away
but suffering remains
eating sinful cakes today
ignites sulphur in my veins
although I try, I can't recall how to cry
looking at the bread I saved,
all mouldy in decay it was fine just yesterday
and with a two-ply wooden eye
cook my head in the microwave
evil rakes my brain away
the buffer zone refrains
from taking all the fun from play
but true happiness it drains

X L X   36. Negligible Amount of Sodium 0:10
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
I want to talk to broccoli. broccoli! broc-co-li!

X L X   37. Instantaneous Eternity 2:37
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
this is a story about Bobby
one day, Bobby had to go to the supermarket
to get his mommy some bread (bread)
Bobby's mommy gave him two dollars
to get a whole loaf of bread and one gallon milk
so Bobby started walking
down to the store
it was several miles away so Bobby had to walk fast
the sun was going down
when he got to the first corner, Bobby saw
well he saw a little girl
her name was Susie
she was playing hopscotch
so Bobby said,
"hello Susie, may I play with you?"
just then, Susie turned into a big man
with a black coat on
he had a balloon floating above his head
Bobby said, "what's that balloon for?"
the man said, "that's so I can fly"

X L X   38. Problematic Solution 2:34
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
this time for real
really real real
this one is for your daddy
play this one like your daddy was here
get down
upside-down around the back can
pushing up daisies under my bed
have I gone nuts or is it in my head
pumpkin jerry and his best friend toe
planting raisins deep in the snow
heartburn sally with her long yellow hair
tried to stand up but I couldn't find a chair
poison apple so fresh and nice
sleep on the mould, gave me some lice
looking down under my neck
what's going on, what the heck
flying in the sky, falling on the ground
couldn't be down, couldn't be found
famous Danish crackers in my tummy
gotta go to the bathroom, gotta get rummy
big picture on the wall
I look at it but then it falls
on my head, I go "ow"
go to the room and I gotta go now
pick up the phone, is that for me?
I gotta play guitar and I gotta take a pee
took the bus downtown tomorrow
gotta go dee nebison hara
a ha ha

X L X   39. Heterogeneous Singularity 0:24
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
utterint wig hat wig hat British flag
clothes on a clothes hanger
basket computer apple bass drum
little man graham cracker
(we're recording?)

X L X   40. Could You Be Next? 0:10
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
I wanna talk to a candle maker

S L X   41. Accidental Purpose 1:33
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
looking at your face
I see the apple race
of people and person
looking at me I can see someone inside
maybe another person
a place and time for me and my rhyme
call me a writer if you will
but a crayon I use for the letters
to fuse words about how I feel
the time to act is now in fact
little more than a minute
ways to play outside with your bike and swammie
saying good things about your mom and mammy
now just think today I'm alive
a new way to look at things
for the songs that may play will always go away
like a bird taking to wing
incontinence of the mind
dreams of what I'll find
are seldom left behind
as I wander through a hazy day
no self-control is mine
as over solitude I pine
and I wish the stars would shine
as I ponder in a lazy way
possibilities of many fates
hopeful to find what sedates
so peace of mind I could create
but loneliness makes for a crazy stay
in the thoughts of roamers
who wish not to be loners (owners)
bad sadness makes my soul a blazing grey

X L X   42. Concave Bumps 3:17
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
set yourself on fire and throw away the key
listen to the flames that you roast lightly
today is gone and today was fun
but tomorrow is yet another one
wasting your breath trying to catch the sun
you laugh at such an idea of grandeur
but without your laughing, are you so sure?
everything once known is now forgotten to you
were you one step ahead or behind by two
doesn't matter now the flames engulfing your eyes and melting
don't you worry, you don't feel a thing
as you die, you can hear all the birds a-sing
goodbye, cruel world, and I'll see you in forty-nine days
when I come back it will be a new phase
a new life, if you will
but if you ask me twice, I wouldn't take the pill
but don't criticize me, that's just the way I feel
ah, forget it, they're all the same
they all spend their money for fifteen minutes of fame
giving their lives to play the game
rusty spoons in my brain scooping out my mind now
now I'm going insane
cereal for the gods, causing me pain

X L X   43. Completely Partial 1:44
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
in times still unforeseen,
cows rule the land peaceful and serene
when man has died away and grass
turned brown to green
there lived the cows and goats who
shared the fielded country scene
when goats uprooted vegetation
cows scoffed and cringed
in spite that land may have
fed me some cold and lonesome
night. the need for feed and lack of
seed put cattle into fright
so goats were done away with by us bulls
who saw our plight
Moosaweenie says kill 'em off
Admiral Beef says evil goat scum
then rams came down from the mountains
to protect their cousins' blood
and two armies clashed and fell to death
and the birds laughed at tornados
and fish laughed at a flood
until there was no more
of the cloven hoof
to chew the cud

X L X   44. Clearly Blurred 2:37
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
now in this way I'm about to share with you
things that don't have to be added to
like soft fluffy clouds that float in the sky
that you may gaze upon while walking by
or maybe a small golden fish swimming in a lake
that comes up to you offering a shake
but you say, "no, I've made a mistake,
life can't be this way; I thought it was fake"
so now you do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself about
your legs start to quiver and then they give out
you fall to the floor and begin to shout,
"somebody help me, I can't get out"
nobody helps you so you begin to scream
"don't worry," they say, "I know just what you mean
we've been and then and all around the world
our heads have gotten too fat
our eyes can't see but that of a cat"
now do you feel the world has gotten strange?
a galaxy of chaos that you can't rearrange
that's too bad; that's the way it is
but it always seems that way when you listen to the Piz
oh yeah

X L X   45. I Do Not Have Time for This 0:09
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
I wanna talk to Boris

X L X   46. Mad Sanity 1:21
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
A-ko puppy all day long
A-ko puppy while I sing this song
runs and jumps all over me
have to let her out so she can take a pee
she's Miss America incognito
she's super-dee-duper, neato bandito
she likes to lick the lotion off of me
she likes to watch me climb a tree
she gets me muddy when it rains
but that's okay yeah she's no pain
A-ko you're a puppy and you run real fast
all this energy, how do you last
I don't really know but I wish I did
'cause then I could keep up with my kid
you like to chase Oliver around the house
as if you were the cat and he was the mouse
yeah A-ko yeah A-ko A-ko puppy yeah A-ko

X L X   47. Synonymous Opposites 1:50
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
it took the beast of creation
to create the beast of perfection.
manifested imperfections of existence
illustrate effects of misunderstanding.
unfounded experiments in rationalization,
and misappropriated attention for self-advancement
breeds attachment to a miserable world
of bittersweet jade and peace endlessly searching turmoil
for what could be found
the beast of perfection
from the beast of creation
and little daisies
and fields
with butterflies
and a rainbow

S L X   48. We should, but we're going to anyway: Cabbage 3:19
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
ooooo dadaadadaadadaadadaa brrnkti
brrrnikding adadadeedadadeedadadee ring-ha
this song right here, it's about cabbage
see, I love cabbage
I could eat it day or night
cabbage in the sky
I see you fly by
a tear it brings to my eye
cabbage in the sky
the cabbage I love with all of my soul
bigger than a ten-foot pole
oh cabbage, cabbage, cabbage in the sky
for me cabbage is the way of life
I don't cut it with a knife
my cabbage, my cabbage in the sky
I love you so very bad and it makes me oh so glad
that you, you are my cabbage
you are my cabbage in the sky
in my sleep, I dream of you
maybe a million pounds or two
my cabbage, my cabbage, cabbage in the sky
cabbage in the sky
cabbage in the sky
in my life, you look so bright
my love for you I cannot fight
my cabbage, OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH my cabbage
in the sky
cabbage in the sky, you bring a tea
bring a tear to my eye, my cabbage in the sky

X L X   49. Vaguely Specific 0:11
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
mountain winds
I can't hear in my left ear
okay I'm sorry

X L X   50. Roughly Gentle 1:31
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
monkey monkey you're so clean
prettiest thing I've ever seen
so funny and brown, your hair is shiny
I'm so glad that you're all miney
monkey monkey don't be bad
just be good so I'll be glad
happy happy is what you are
no no monkey you can't drive my car
monkey and I we go to the store
we tell each other jokes and we fall on the floor
people come and laugh at us
but it don't matter 'cause we ride the bus
monkey monkey you're so cool
I wish that I could take you to school
but my teacher wouldn't like that
that's okay 'cause he's too fat
monkey monkey you're the man
I just don't think that you understand
you know how to do about everything
you don't look so good on the monkey swing
you know monkey you're the best
you know I wouldn't have to second-guess
that's why you're so awesome
I'm just glad that you're not a 'possum

X L X   51. Filled With Plankton 0:11
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
I wanna talk to a shower curtain

X L X   52. Pertinent Nonsense 3:32
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
"...put in a lawn in over the winter months when it's a little bit cooler. I planned on taking a camping trek about, oh I guess been two weekends ago now. Had everything ready to go. After I put my camper on I had a busted water line which must have frozen during the winter, and while I was in the process of repairing that, I found I had a elbow from my holding, or from my uh, water tank, that was, had a slow leak in it. And my golly, both the water line and the elbow are places that are really difficult to get at. But I finally got that all squared away and we got the camper all cleaned up, and, uh, I bought a power unit. You know when you was here we were talking about a power unit. Well I bought a three thousand, uh, three thousand amp or three thousand watt? I'm not sure which way it goes now. But that's plenty big enough to carry the air conditioner, and I extended the step in back about six inches so, and, so I can just set the power unit on that and bolt it down and carry my electrical power with me. I think it was three hundred and eighty some dollars, Searo-Sears-Roebuck® model. But by the time I got all that ready to go and hooked up the electricity for, to see how the refrigerator was gonna cool down, I find it isn't cooling down. So I've been having a heck of a time trying to find anybody that'll have anything to do with 'em. You know they're um, oh, I, I guess you call it a suction, uh, type refrigerator. There's no motor or anything like this, so, uhh the circulation or the cooling is done with heat. You either have uh, your gas, uh, pilot light burning to create the heat, or you have a electric heating element to create the heat. And uh, most of these refrigerator people don't even know what the coolant is that goes in the tank. I guess it's a mixture, or I've heard it's a mixture of water and ammonia, but nobody knows to what..."

X L X   53. Exactly Imperfect 3:30
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
oooo, I love you
that's right, I love you
oooeeoo, I love you
oooooooo baby, you know I love you
that's right baby, I love you
ooooooo I loooove youuuuu
yeahhh I loooooooooove you
I know you can't be an angel
because you're too good
ooo baby, you are so good
I love, lu-hu-hu-hove
you, I looooooove youuuuuuuuu-ooo
ooo baby, I lu-hu-hove you
yeah you know I ain't lying when I say
I love you
ooo baby, you know I lu-hu-hu-hu-hu-hu-hove