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Insert Piz Here—> - released August 1995 - Lyrics

Insert Piz Here—> Lyrics

The first Piz album is now available on Compact Disc. Each song was painstakingly digitally remastered from the original master tapes to give it the crisp sound of really bad old cassette tapes. Many of the songs (especially "Toothpaste") on the Compact Disc version are also longer than the same songs on the tape. This, along with the "lost tracks," adds up to approximately 20 minutes of "new, unreleased" material.
(note: * = "lost track")

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S = sound file L = lyrics T = transcription

disc 1

X L X   01. The Pez® 2:04
(Lyrics: robbie; Music: the piz)
the pez!
going to the store, running down the aisles
cart in my hand and the cans are in piles
nobody knows what's running in my head
nobody knows that i need pez

i need pez i need pez i need pez

shopping in the store, looking for pez
nobody knows what i just said
running through the store, looking for that pack
suddenly i see on that rack
sitting right there, waiting for me
i see pez, oh yippee

i want pez i got pez i got pez

now i have my yummy pez
sitting right here, stuffing my head
but when i think it suddenly hits me that
this pez, it tastes like big brown crap

i hate pez i hate pez i hate pez

X L X   02. Mr. Pumpkinhead 2:27
(Lyrics: mostly paul; Music: reuben, jonbobby mcfee, paul)
1 2 3 4
mr. pumpkinhead was sitting in bed
watching santa claus ride his sled
then he thought, "i wish i was red"
"maybe i'll just drink some lead"
so he went right into the shed
there he saw a guy named fred
mr. pumpkinhead said "what's up, fred?"
"got any of those pills that turn you into super shmed?"

super shmed
super shmed
AAAAAH

right as mr. pumpkinhead put on his hat
he saw his friend rat chase a cat
then he said, "man i'm getting fat"
"but i'm still good enough to be an arizona wildcat"
mr. pumpkinhead got in his car
mr. pumpkinhead drove on the tar
he soon discovered he had a flat
dammit, where's michael platt
when you need to fix a flat

super shmed
super shmed
go to bed

X L X   03. I wish I was a cat 2:57
(Lyrics: paul, etc.; Music: reuben, etc.)
1 2 3 4
i took a dump on a speed bump
my friend said "boy, what a lump"
then we passed a couple of flies
and they said
"are you the boy that took a dump on a speed bump which made a big lump?"
and i said yeah

chorus:
i wish i was a whore
i wish i lived next door
i wish i could make love to the floor
i wish i had a cat
i think i'd beat it with a bat

i wish i had a purple hat
then i'd wear it when i beat my cat with a bat
when i was two i only wore my left shoe
i wish i was a bore
'cause if i was a bore then i could be really poor

(chorus)

X L X   04. Bob's Knife 2:34
(Lyrics: paul & jonbobby mcfee; Music: reuben w/ paul & jonbobby mcfee)
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
i was walking to the market when i saw bob smarket
and he had a knife stuck in his arm
so i said "do you need help?" and he said "no, do you?" and ran off
then the police came and they beat me so i sang a song i was singing

do you wanna fly- yeah
do you wanna die- yeah
do you wanna cry- yeah
tough shit
aw man

so i started going home and i found a honeycomb
then i took a big bite
later that day a girl saw me and she said "what are all those red lumps"
and i said "it's part of teenage life"
then she said "you're 42"
so i said...

do you wanna fly- no
do you wanna die- no
do you wanna cry- no
tough shit
aw man

X L X   05. Some People Say 3:19
(Lyrics: robbie, paul, jonbobby mcfee; Music: reuben, paul, robbie)
doodoodoot doo doodoodoot doo...
1 2 3 4
some people say i spit on my shoe
they're right. they're right.
some people say i have no brains
they're right. they're right.
some people say i should live in the zoo
they're right. they're right.
some people say i don't have a clue
they're right. they're right.
some people say i like to eat glue
they're right. they're right.
eli's stuck in the laundry basket
they're right. they're right.
soon i'll be in my own brown casket
they're right. they're right.
some people say i'm dyslexic
they're left. they're left.

tripping over rocks, falling off cliffs
they're right. they're right.
some people say i shop at smiffs
they're right. they're right.
some people laugh when i go pee
they're right. they're right.
some people get in the way of me
they're wet. they're wet.

one more time

tripping over rocks, falling off cliffs
they're right. they're right.
some people say i shop at smiffs
they're right. they're right.
some people laugh when i go pee
they're right. they're right.
some people get in the way of me
they're wet. they're wet.
there's eli stuck in the laundry basket
they're right. they're right.
soon he'll be in his own brown casket
they're right. they're right.
some people say i'm dyslexic
they're left. they're left.

X L X   06. Why 4:14
(Lyrics: robbie; Music: reuben, paul, jonbobby mcfee)
jim was strolling down the street one day
he looked up and just happened to say
why do eggs drop on the ceiling
and why do paper dolls have feelings

oh tell me why do we look like big brown squares
and why do we have to eat green pears
and why don't we have three green eyes
and tell me why why why, why can't we fly?

when jim got home he fed his cat
placed his hat on top of the rack
looked in the fridge and grabbed a snack
he ate his bread and then he said
where did we learn how to talk
and where did we get the feet to walk

why do cows have their milk
and why do scottish wear their kilts
and tell me why do we have to go to skool
and why the hell aren't i really cool

jim got sleepy and went to bed
laid down on his pillow and then he said
why don't pigs have great wings
and god do i love that stephen king

oh tell me why do we look like big brown squares
and why do we have to eat green pears
and why don't we have three brown eyes
and tell me why why why, why can't we fly?
why do cows have their milk
and why do scottish wear their kilts
and tell me why do we have to go to skool
and why the hell aren't i really cool

and tell me why did the sky have to be blue
and where in the hell did they make my shoes

X L X   07. Leftovers 2:59
(Lyrics: paul; Music: reuben)
4 3
california loan office
sells diamonds, guns, watches and jewelry
i pissed on a fire hydrant
pawnbroker saw me
blew my penis off
i ain't gonna piss around here no more

chorus:
penis off penis off penis off

that really hurt
i ran off really damn fast
i said why didja blow my penis off
now my girldog is gonna dump me
now it hurts when i go pee pee
why did he have to shoot my penis off

chorus:
penis off penis off penis off
weenie off weenie off weenie off

X L X   08. Spherical Objects 5:17
(Lyrics: paul w/reuben & jonbobby mcfee; Music: reuben & paul)
1 2 3 4
huhhuhuhuhuhuh
pixie stix
mmm
pixie stix
mmm
i like cake
gimmie some cake
plug it in
make it electric
electric cake and brownies, sitting on the sidewalk
jesse went right over, fed it to his pet pet parrot
his pet pet parrot hawk
and his pet pet parrot hawk has a little little turtle
they ate brownies and pancakes electric
then on top of all that they piss in each other's mouths
drains out of their ears
think i need a t-shirt na na naa naa na na na na
saw the shed door open
that's when i went in!
somewhere.
socks and underwear, crusty underwear
i don't change my underwear.
(eew.)
eeeh? whattaya mean ieh? it tastes good
(mmm)
that's more like it
the target. i've got a target on my ass
people throw darts at it sometimes
drive elephants. yep i got five heads.
people with green and black pubic hairs
and um, orange nipples just like eli's
this is a weird song. if people heard this song
they wouldn't know i sniff dogs' balls
yes balls. (balls!)
squirrels. they got on jackets too.
huh! balls! (BALLS!) BALLS! (BALLS!)
BALLS! (BALLS!) BALLS! balls balls balls!
big balls. (little balls) medium rare balls
(round balls) huh huh. hanging balls.
(squishy balls!) huh huh. BALLS! BALLS!
GO OUT AND GET SOME BALLS!
BALLS BALLS BALLS! GET SOME REALLY HARD BALLS!
BLAH BLAH BALLS! BALLS! BALLS!
woman balls. man balls. little boy balls.
um i don't know it should be right about now
yeah it should be the end right now
that's the end

S L S   09. Vote For Robbie 2:53
(Lyrics & Music by the piz)
1 2 3 4
vote for robbie. he doesn't eat meat
and if you vote for robbie, he'll kiss your stinky feet
vote for robbie. he's that kind of guy
and in his spare time, he looks up in the sky
vote for robbie. he'll give you money
lots and lots of money, filled with honey
when you vote for robbie, he fulfills all your dreams
makes lots of promises, and tops it with whipped cream
vote for robbie.
robbie robbie robbie!
ROBBIE!!
robbie's your guy!

X L X   10. Hell 2:00
(Lyrics: jonbobby mcfee w/reuben; Music: reuben)
okay that's good
my what a big cloven hoof you have
all the better to eat you with
and then steal your soul!
HA HA HA! (AAAH!)
down! (AAAH!) into (AAH!) the fiery (AAH!) pits (AAH!) of hell!
(AAAAAAAHHH!!) HA HA HA!
come with me
okay.
come with me now
yes master.
walk this way
walk this way?
walk this way!!
yes master
do not mock me!
i would never mock you, master
good!
yes master.
now go be tortured in the pits of hell!
AAAH!
HAHA!
AAH!
HAHAHA!
AH!!
HAHA!
AAH!!
HAHAHAHA!
AAAHH!
HA HAHA
AAAH!!
HA HA HAhA
AAAH!!!
HA HA
AAH!
AAAAAH!!!
does it hurt?
YES
does it hurt terribly?
YES!
HA HA HA!!

X L X   11. I Like Milk 'cause it's Good for Me 1:40
(Lyrics: jonbobby mcfee w/reuben; Music: reuben w/ jonbobby mcfee & paul)
this song's called i like milk 'cause it's good for me
1 2 3 4
(happy pop punk x 1,000,000)
i was playing basketball this morning
i kept missing all of my layups
that's okay, i won anyway
i like milk
milk is good for me
milk is good for me
milk is very good
milk is good for me
you better eat your wheaties
milk is good
i like milk
milk milk milk
scheckickrlteck
i really like that song

X L X   12. I Hurt Myself 3:23
(Lyrics: robbie; Music: the piz)
1 2 3 4
i was riding my horse
and i hit my head
i got on my feet
and i said ow

i was chasing my pig
and i slipped in the mud
i got up and said
crud

i hurt myself

i was milking my cow
and it kicked me in my head
i got to my feet
and i said ow

i hurt myself

i went in the house
i cleaned up my cuts
next thing i knew
i was attacked by my mutts
ow

i hurt myself
barnyard animals

S L X   13. No 0:07
(Lyrics: jonbobby mcfee; Music: reuben & paul)
1 2 3 4
no

X L X   14. I Like Celery 0:18
(Lyrics: reuben, paul, jonbobby mcfee; Music: reuben)
i like celery i like celery
get your celery
i like celery
was that it

X L X   15. Hey Paul 0:12
(Lyrics: jonbobby mcfee & paul; Music: reuben)
1 2 3 4
hey paul
hey what

X L X   16. Viva la Rock & Roll 0:05
(Lyrics: 3rd bass; Music: an E chord)
don't drink the milk

X L X   17. Drink The Milk 0:13
(Lyrics: jonbobby mcfee; Music: reuben)
1 2 3 4
uhuh huh
heheh

X L X   18. Satan's In the Bagels 0:13
(Lyrics: paul; Music: reuben)
1 2 3 4
woohooieet wooloo.

X L X   19. My Feet Burn 0:22
(Lyrics: paul w/jesse; Music: reuben)
1 2 3 4
running down the street
i stop to take a breath
my feet burn

X L X   20. Turtle Shell 0:17
(Lyrics & Music by reuben)
aaah
aaah
aaah
aaah
aaah
aaah

X L X   21. Took me three years 0:12
(Lyrics: robbie; Music: the piz)
hey i made this one up it took me three years to make
AAAHH!

X L X   22. Wake Up 0:25
(Lyrics & Music by reuben)
1 2 3 4
wake up
wake up
wake up
wake up
wake up
wake up
aaahh

X L X   23. Don't Inhale That 4:03
(Lyrics: jonbobby mcfee & paul; Music: reuben)
i don't know
1 2 3 4
come in
the chicken squirrel is loose
-sniff sniff-
no
don't inhale that -sniff-
poison
cough cough bleh bleh
too late
i like to comb my hair.
what hair?
i don't wanna die
anybody got a tissue?
stop breathing my hair
he's touching me
mommy, he's touching me mommy
hesyeueyeueessbig
snemememnsneoo
eli has a black one
kdfjbvskj kind of funny because
he has to hide it under pants or something
or under a t-shirt
duidodo
do you want some yummy spider heads?
does that come with jalapenos?
no
then i'll take 'em
this is a boring song
you can give the really big squishy ones to me if you don't want them
okey dokey
i only got a fifty
squaaahehehe

X L X   24. Ant Shit 1:56
(Lyrics: paul; Music: reuben, paul)
1 2 3 4
i was walking in an alley
it was just me and poor sally
when i walked into a wall
it was seven-foot-five tall
it was sort of kind of squishy
and it smelled like rotten fishy
poor sally took a handful and shoved it up her nose
boy this stuff tastes just like a very very fresh fresh rose
so i pulled out a fork, sally found a spork
and then we ate a bunch of it
then i saw a label labeled ant shit

ant shit ant shit better than any of those ritz
ant shit ant shit gives you nicely rounded tits
ant shit ant shit makes you really super fit
ant shit ant shit go ahead and jump in the pit

X L X   25. Flannel Jacket 2:08
(Lyrics: paul; Music: reuben)
sell rubber nipples sell rubber nipples sell rubber nipples today.
it's recording, shut up
you gotta do the 1 2 3 4 thing.
uno dos tres
uno dos tres quatro
i'd like to dedicate this one to the doorknob
how's it goin' doorknob
i was 4 once
used to wear windbreakers
walk along the street it'd be windy
but i've moved on
now i wear a flannel a flannel a flannel
i wear a flannel
when i go to mcdonald's
i wear a flannel a flannel aaa
one time i used to wear coats
not goats
used to ride in boats
but now i wear a flannel a flannel
aaaaaa
i wanna sell cookies...be a girl scout
but now i wear a flannel aaa
a flannel jacket aaaaaaa aa
in my flannel jacket i have a little light
so when it's dark out there, and the boogie man comes along
i'm gonna catch him
with my flashlight and my rubber ball
and i got a flannel jacket and a light
aaaa
and i slobber on the microphone sometimes.
and i scream really loud. aaaaa.
it's really fun too.
i love my flannel but one day it'll be gone
but i wear my flannel aaaa
flannel jackets.

X L X   26. Rubber Nipples 2:27
(Lyrics: robbie; Music: reuben)
on the park bench
it's recording now you can stop soaubovioob.//.,,..r;v//.....
okokok here we go
1 2 3 4
hey dad. want a rubber nipple
i'm sellin' 'em
no? too bad you're getting one anyway ha ha ha
rubber nipple rubber nipple
big ones pink ones purple ones yellow ones
got me some rubber nipples
gonna sell me some rubber nipples
gonna suck on rubber nipples
i like my rubber nipples.
rubber nipples rubber nipples rubber nipples
how to use your rubber nipples:
you put 'em on and suck
suck hard and long
don't try this at home
rubber nipples rubber nipples
i love my rubber nipples
give me rubber nipples
i'm here to sell rubber nipples sell rubber nipples sell rubber nipples
i'm here to sell you rubber nipples rubber nipples all day.
god i love rubber nipples. only at your ace hardware dealer
while supplies last
and they all lived happily ever after
was that the end
yeah

X L X   27. HaveYouEverWantedToBeARockAndRollStar 0:08
(Music by reuben)
instrumental.

X L X   28. Kurdt's Shoes 0:20
(Lyrics: robbie; Music: robbie & paul)
i have these shoes they make me hurt
i have these shoes their name is kurt
kurt cobain came back as my shoes (x3)
it's on the front page of the news

X L X   29. What the Hell Can I Say Part 2 4:59
(Lyrics: paul, jonbobby mcfee, reuben; Music: reuben)
1 2 3 4
squajsgiodzilla
cheese pizza
plastic coated playing cards
something calm
eiduoiniioud
fatty cake
kazoo head
little fairies buy lots of peanut butte
fly man
holy torpedo shells, batman
i gotta fart
electric pez dispense
snioertchnostana
hahahahahahahaha
yeeasnibiyadnoit

X L X   30. This Ain't a Pizza 1:08
(Lyrics: jonbobby mcfee & paul; Music: reuben)
hey, is it recording now?
huhhuhuhhhuhuh
shut up
get the rabbit
hey, we're all good
hueh
that's all the mayonnaise
did you order a pizza?
no, why?
hey, this isn't a pizza
this is a hsnsgahanagaahan
i gotta fart

X L X   31. Reuben's Rap 0:26
(Lyrics: paul; Music: Nirvana)
ok ok ok ok ok ok
what the hell's this? some kind of rap song?

X L X   32. We am Smarts 0:30
(Lyrics: paul, jonbobby mcfee; Music: reuben)
okay, you can sing it
oh, it's still recording, huh
duh-huh
duh-huh
duh-huh what
ooh just turn the knob that should fix it
duh-huh cow, duh-huh meat
duh-huh histamine
eyeyeyeye
yeehehuhuhuh
yo
joe is groovy
who are these guys?

disc 2

X L X   01. Happy 3:12
(Lyrics: paul; Music: reuben)
1 2 3 4
i'm happy happy
happy 'cause my girlfriend dumped me
happy 'cause my dog shit in my shoes
i'm just happy. so happy
electric bill's 133 thousand dollars
i'm happy. happy that i don't know how to cook
so happy
happy that my grandmother died
happy that i don't have any clean clothes to wear
happy that i ate rotten eggs and now i really stink when i fart
i'm so happy that i flunked 7th grade
and i'm also happy that you hate my guts
and that you hit me with that baseball bat and now my arm's broken
the doctors say i'll never recover
i'm happy that you kicked my in the nuts
i'm happy they're inside of me and they're floating around in my stomach right now
i'm happy that i can't produce sperm any more
and it makes me happy happy yeah so happy
happy that i don't have cable tv
happy that i got stung by a bee
happy that tarantulas laid eggs on me
yeah i'm really happy
happy that my little son drowned in the pool
happy that my brother likes to drool
i'm so happy i don't have a life
i'm so happy i don't have a wife
happy that i don't have any money
happy that i can't eat any food
happy when i think about you.
is that the end?

X L X   02. Good Old Kurdt 2:41
(Lyrics & Music by reuben)
i saw good old kurdt yesterday standing on a green day cd
he said long live crappy music and then he looked up to the stains on the sky
then he disappeared

good old kurdt was a jolly old soul
chucked his life in the toilet bowl
pulled the lever with his left hand because he was left-handed

i saw good old kurdt's shoe this morning
it said "i am kurdt's shoe. booga booga"
and disappeared in a cloud of beef
then i heard that song about the fingernails on the radio

X L X   03. I Wanna Go to Hell 3:51
(Lyrics: jonbobby mcfee; Music: reuben)
i was walking to hell
and i couldn't find it
so i asked for directions
at the gas station
but he didn't know the way
i wanna go to hell
but i don't know the way
i figured i'd go somewhere else that day
maybe atlantis or some other place far away
maybe i'll just keep walking
or maybe not.
i wanna go to hell
i wanna meet satan.
i was praying to satan one day
he said go to hell i'll show you the way
i followed him and he showed me
now i'm in hell
i wanna go to earth

X L X   04. Dr. Killdoomdeathdie 2:29
(Lyrics & Music by reuben)
ever see that video "i kissed a girl?"
uh yeah
i kissed a girl
i'm starting now
1234
dwagowaga diwasabazibadaga
three little pigs don't wear wigs
big bad wolf abbazabadabba
got a hairy chin
somethin' blahblahblahblahblahblah
adowadagowadagay
ga dowa gowa da gayn
ooooowaaa
aaesaawa
i don't know what i'm saying
i don't know i don't know
ah eh ah uh aah
i wish i could think of something to say
i don't know
AGODBADabadoobagadaaa
aa aa aa
gowaja gowaja gaaa
aaaaae aaaaaa aaaaaaaa
gaaazagaaa gabadaaaaaaaaa
aaa aaa wae aaa iiih waa iii aaa
ih ih waaouoh waa waa wabbawoOO uh
waa ih uh ah ooh
ooaahaa yooooahaaihuoh oooaaauuuh
yeeeeaauu AAA aaa
AA AAAA AA AAA BLAAA AHH

X L X   05. Cigarette Unlit 0:38
(Lyrics: paul; Music: reuben)
okay i'm ready
1 2 3 4
i was sitting in a room playing bullshit
when a girl walked in with a big left tit
i said hey baby come over here and sit
she looked at me and started to spit
she said your face is one big fucking zit
she started to smoke but her cigarette was unlit
so she pulled out her lighter kit

X L X   06. Paul's Measuring Tool 0:04
(Lyrics & Music by paul)
1 2 3 4
if seconds were equal to inches this song is longer than me

X L X   07. Camping 2:23
(Lyrics: paul, reuben, jonbobby mcfee; Music: reuben & jonbobby mcfee)
1 2 3 4
i had a dream about a giant yellow platypus
i had a dream about a giant yellow platypus
it was green, this giant yellow platypus
and this green giant yellow platypus played for the sonics
yeah he played for the sonics
he kicked some ass
yeah some green and yellow purple ass

camping

the green giant yellow platypus
took his needlenose pliers
and grabbed himself an ogre wuss
yeah a green purple yellow red ogre wuss
yeah a wuss a wuss a wuss

camping

while rooting through the dirt looking for some worms
the giant yellow platypus got a lot of germs
he got a lot of purple green yellow red blue germs
yeah worms germs germs worms

camping

X L X   08. Little Red Zombies 2:23
(Lyrics: jonbobby mcfee; Music: reuben & paul)
little red zombies
okay this song's little red zombies
1 2 3 4
little red zombies
little red zombies
they came at night
they took me while i was asleep
my life flashed before my ears
my life flashed before my ears
little red zombies
dancing in my dreams
aaaaaaaah
heh heh
uh-hu-ha
ha ha ha ha heh ha aa
ehehhohohaaa
oueghgh
okay

X L X   09. kill hurt death die pain mutilation decapitation destruction destroy doom 3:50
(Lyrics: paul & jonbobby mcfee w/jim; Music: reuben, Led Zeppelin, etc.)
1 2 3 4
kill die die death
death death kill uh destroy aah uh eh aaaah kill
hurt hurt pain
die death death kill kill
eli's dad walks in and we stop
yeah i don't know yeah just keep playing
i got a few more words
i would suggest that paul sleep on the mattress
a couple of sheets to throw down
yahuhyahuhyahuhyahuhyahuhyahuhyahuh
yuoowayooyuh huuhuhahuhooya etc
alright start playing again
kill death die oah kill kill pain mutilation hurt hurt hurt
decapitation uh die uh die uh die kill death doom
aaaah death hurt pain kill death
okay that's enough death you sure that's enough
no keep playing i wanna uhuh yeah let's play some more
kill death death hurt ahh die kill kill
uuh. yhuhyuhyuhhuhuhuhuhyuhyu
kill kill kill death ahh pain
destroy hurt is that the end
no keep playing
woyadyalyaeya dwolya eyowoowayaya
die die hurt hurt hurt kill doom death die ahhhh
doom destruction pain ooohh kill rest in peace hurt aaahhh
gun blow your head off knife cut your arm off
shotgun blow your knee off something blow something off
light switch on die off die off die hut hut die hut hut die
hut hut off die off die off die off pain die die kill
pain pain hurt die die kill aah die die pain hurt kill aah
okay that's enough
hey that's enough hey cut it out
you need to stop playing hey we're not done
thwap aahh thwap hpwap
that was cool

X L X   10. OO OO AA AA 1:45
(Lyrics & Music by reuben, paul, jonbobby mcfee)
1 2 3 4
AAH OO AA AA UU OO OO AA OO OO AA OO AA
OOOO AAA AAAAA YUNAUAU AAAA AUAuau AA EH UH OOH UH
EH OOH U AAH YEAUH UUUUH

X L X   11. Needlenose Pliers 0:14
(Lyrics: paul; Music: reuben)
you got a big nose you need needlenose pliers
get that booger out get some needlenose pliers
good job

X L X   12. Shut Up Eli 1:30
(Lyrics: jonbobby mcfee w/paul; Music: reuben)
1 2 3 4
hey wouldn't it be funny if i went over and jumped in the trash can right now
shut up eli
i learned how to play bass tomorrow
shut up
hey i like that poster we have on the wall over there 'cause it's really cool
shut up eli
one time i was at school and my friend said hey eli and i said what
and he said you got two eyebrows
shut up eli
so so so then anyway i was saying no no i don't have two eyebrows i only have one eyebrow
because it goes all the way across my face you know what i mean so so then anyway i was standing
there and we were talking about stuff and he was telling me how his shirt had wrinkles in it and then
he he he was making more wrinkles in it with his hands
shut up
that's it we gotta get him
(thwack)(thud)AAH(thud)(various hitting noise)
you shut up when i tell you to shut up yeeuh
we're gonna have to burn this boy
wuaah AH

X L X   13. 1234 4231 0:08
(Lyrics: paul; Music: reuben)
1234 4231 huh
4231?
yeah

X L X   14. I need a dime 0:56
(Lyrics: paul & jonbobby mcfee; Music: reuben)
huh nah hoobyachicle hah ha boo na sicna brains blaha gooba
ah hoohu ah huah aahaahahah
i need a dime i need a dime i need a dime
i need a dime i need a nickel i need a dime
i need a nickel i need a dime i need a nickel
i need a nickelnickelnickelnickelnickel uh okay

X L X   15. The Critic 2:31
(Lyrics & Music by the piz)
there needs to be a chorus in this song

X L X   16. Microphone Hitters 1:49
(Lyrics: paul; Music: reuben & paul)
1 2 3 4
ah ooh uh ouh ah
ooh uh uuh aah eh
get off your lazy butt, aah

X L X   17. flapjack's whistle 0:24
(Lyrics: paul; Music: reuben)
1 2 3 4
flapjack was sitting in a cafe looking out the window
watching the vampires play cards with the hogs
and there was his mommy sitting on tommy
flapjack said hey mommy (whistle)

X L X   18. The song that's too funny to sing 0:46
(Lyrics: paul, jonbobby mcfee or reuben; Music: reuben)
this song's called the song that's too funny to sing
1 2 3 4
i was ha haha hahahahahah
and then hahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahaa

X L X   19. American Airlines flight 666 3:17
(Lyrics: the piz; Music: reuben & jonbobbby mcfee)
ladies and gentlemen please observe the no smoking sign (1 2 3 4)
make sure your seat belt is securely fastened and please...
enjoy your flight
american airlines
folks, we're gonna experience a little turbulence, but don't worry,
we're all gonna die we're all gonna die we're all gonna die
hi mom
i love monkeys and monkeys love me.
i like to stick my finger in donuts
yeah a pig yeah a pig
pink orangutans are my favorites
i go to the jungle and follow them
please make sure your donuts are fastened and please...enjoy your flight
7 words for the electric guitar:
monkey monkey monkey monkey monkey monkey monkey monkey
monkey monkey monkey
that's just too dang bad, jello man
SPANK MY MONKEY
eeh when she sat on a dog eeh ah waeyowa
i said that's okay now get away from me so i can write
michael jordan oh and he misses one
shaquille boom shakalaka yeah

X L X   20. What the Hell Can I Say Part 1 7:08
(Lyrics: the piz; Music: reuben)
wait you gotta say 1 2 3 4
1 2 3 4
tequila
corn
kill the carrots
motorcycle helmet
sno-cones
fordiddlywordycop
barbie
butterfly juice
titanium alloy
amino acids
i love it when purple fly on top
toilet kills the beast magnetic wiener
grey matte
can you hear me
eat at joe's
jordan for 3 and he misses--shaquille boom shakalaka
yeah pregnant women should not ride this ride
ya know what? def leppard sucks
you know i have a flannel but my hemorrhoids hurt
hoo pah
the uncola
my arm's tired
my beard's on fire your beard's on fire
whip. ow. whip. ow.
ah yeah yeah that's the end yeah

X L X   21. Toothpaste 4:15
(Lyrics: paul, jonbobby mcfee & some other people; Music: reuben & some other people)
is that what we're singing?
yes
we'll do that
teeth
1 2 3 4
i brush my teeth every day
gettin' toothpaste is the way
when i brush my teeth, i brush 'em hard
i don't like blah blah tub of lard
yeah and i eat pizza for lunch
brushin' our teeth
i ate pizza for lunch
gave me cavities, a bunch
ahhh yeah aaahhh
brushin' our teeth
really hard
brushin' our teeth
we're not a retard
brushin' our teeth
really fast
brushin' our teeth
full of gas
brushin' our teeth
yeah yeah yeah
brushin' our teeth
yeah yeah yeah
woohoo
i eat dinner, i eat steak
i drink milk
and uh, it's not fake yeah yeah hoo hu yeah
i get stomach ache
i go in bedroom and i sleep
wake up next morning, brush my teeth
i grab toothpaste, squeeze it on
and stuff happens all over me
i chew gum on vacation
because i can't brush my teeth
i chew, uh, that one kind, what is it? (trident)
i chew trident all the time
guitar solo
woohoo yeah woohoohoohoo
good job
that was good
we sing a song, before we make the words up
brushin' our teeth
um yeah i prefer apple
i don't know i like cherry pie
no
cherry
apple
cherry
apple
huh huh
cow
cherry
cow's not as good as apple
a horse of course is a horse of course but who would talk to a horse of course
brain pie
the famous talking horse thingamajinger mr. ed
and his name is mr. ed
doo doo doo doot
wrong song huh
darn

X L X   22. Clipboard Anatomy Class 0:12
(Lyrics: jonbobby mcfee; Music: reuben)
hey reuben, do clipboards have testicles?
no

X L X   23. The Hilarious Bluffing Game 0:42
(Lyrics & Music by paul, jonbobby mcfee, reuben)
wah ohaoo wahii ooh a bc d e f gh ij k lmnop q rs t uv w x y and z. ah ah ah.

X L X   24. The Horse 1:09
(Lyrics: paul, jonbobby mcfee, reuben; Music: reuben)
the horse rides at midnight
oh my god it's the horse
no he's gonna get me
it's the horse from hell
yes hell
he wants all your carrots

X L X   25. M & A 1:15
(Lyrics: jonbobby mcfee; Music: reuben & jonbobby mcfee)
1 2 3 4
pour those liquid mini-blinds
all over my eyes
and i don't like apple pies
popsicles and vitamin c
popsicles and vitamin c
this permanent marker smells kind of weird
my girlfriend won't shave her beard

X L X   26. Yes, have some 1:33
(Lyrics: jonbobby mcfee; Music: reuben)
1 2 3 4
would you like some coffee?
do i?
yes, have some.
yes, have some.
sniffin' the popcorn bowl
pick up the telephone
turn it around
sniff it, smell it, turn it around
have some cheez-its
do you want some coffee?
do i?
yes, have some.
yes, have some.
sniffin' the popcorn bowl
pick up the telephone
turn it around
sniff it, smell it, turn it around
do you want some coffee?
do i?
yes, have some.
yes, have some.

X L X   27. Changing the Light Bulb 2:50
(Lyrics: paul, jonbobby mcfee; Music: reuben)
1 2 3 4
i'm sure she'll grow up to be a fine young man
uh ah aah
yup yup yupyupyup
look at the tits on that guy
ahahahaha eehhhuuuhh
eyauheinfi
stop playing that (she's got a pecker this long)
my beautiful baby daughter is now a happily married husband and father
well when you're both you can go to either nude bar
uhh star struck or something like that?
her balls itch
shut up you damn yankee
she's got a nice goatee

X L X   28. Magic Box 2:18
(Lyrics: jonbobby mcfee; Music: reuben & jonbobby mcfee)
because it is glowing
and shaped like an ox
full of chicken pox
open up the magic box
frogs have small cocks
don't eat that damn fox
inside the magic box
magic box
goldilocks with dirty socks riding on a fox
open up the magic box`

X L X   29. Eli's Poem 0:27
(Lyrics: jonbobby mcfee; Music: reuben)
i believe poetry is the very essence of our culture
why yes, i've always enjoyed the work of steve johnson
yes, johnson, he's very good, but my favorite is richard thomas
really? i've never read any of his works...
i wrote a poem once. it sucked

X L X   30. The Camp 0:57
(Lyrics: jonbobby mcfee; Music: reuben & jonbobby mcfee)
hey, hey bob, yeah yeah you know those bug zappers?
they're pretty cool, huh?
yeah they are, okay
well you know when the big ones come in
and then they don't just go zap
they kind of catch on fire and stay lit up for a while and they're really bright?
that's pretty cool, huh?
really? hhuhuhuhhuhuhuhuhu
no, no she doesn't. why?
oh, you do?
alright, i'll ask her
oh, you like that cd?
uhh, they're okay

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