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the educational album - released September 1997 - Lyrics

the educational album Lyrics

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S = sound file L = lyrics T = transcription

X L X   01. a language lesson in five parts 1:08
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
my banana peel is yellow
please do not go through the exit
you are wearing black today

X L X   02. macramé 1:20
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
macramé

X L X   03. little johnny could really ride a pony 3:22
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
i get up for you
i think i know you
i jump in clothes
my horse has feet
time for
time for

chorus:
little johnny could really ride a pony
little johnny could really ride a pony
little johnny could really ride a pony
johnny johnny johnny johnny johnny ride it

johnny's really dumb
he likes to ride a horse
he likes to ride a horse
he likes to ride a horse
he likes to ride a horse

i throw up for you
i stink below you
i thump my nose
my force eats meat
i'm sore

X L X   04. the girl with the funny twitch (original version) 1:11
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
girl, i love you
girl, i think about you every night
i just wanna, wanna hold you tight
girl, i'll be lovin' you
i'll be lovin' you, girl
every day and every night

X L X   05. blood on the saddle 4:57
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
chorus:
there was blood on the saddle
and blood on the ground
and a great big puddle
of blood all around

a cowboy lay in it
all bloody and red
his horse stomped on him
and mashed in his head

pity the poor cowboy
all covered in gore
he ain't gonna punch
no cows any more

there was blood on the doorknob
there was cheese on my sandwich
and cheese on my toe
and a great big puddle
of cheese in the window

there was fudge on the mantle
and fudge on his hand
and a great big puddle
of fudge on his toe

there was coffee beans on my head
and spinach on my nose
and a great fat woman
shoved up the hose

X L X   06. attack of the grizzly bear 0:06
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
-instrumental-

X L X   07. dismembered and bloodied torso 0:51
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
bloody bowels and crushed bone eaten by fat animals on wednesday
purple dead eyeballs falling and landing on your shoulder

X L X   08. the monkey song (old version) 2:53
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed
one fell off and cracked his head
mama called the doctor and the doctor said,
"no more monkeys jumping on the bed"

(Four...Three...Two...)

One little monkey jumping on the bed
it fell off and cracked its head
mama called the doctor and the doctor said,
well come on baby, let's get in bed

No more monkeys jumping on the bed

X L X   09. a is for albigensian 1:47
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
a is for albigensian
c is for cathari
b is for butthead
what about d?
you're dead
i was born in this evil world
the devil created this stupid world
as a spirit i was bad
now i can't see my mom and dad
'cause they're in heaven

reproduction is a sin
we must get baptized just to win
and go to heaven

earth is punishment for spirits who fell
heaven is good and earth is hell

S L S   10. cornwallis in the fray (annoying version) 2:38
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
Never follow a self-crowned king
into a fight against your old friends
Don't refuse the bread they bring
and take the head it lends
Don't use your brain, it'll get in the way
of your thoughts and give the wrong meaning
Just use your legs and you can block all the gray
Get into the white by going for the black-seeming
Pretend you're Cornwallis in the middle of the fray
Make believe you're a needle hidden forever in the hay.
Just imagine you aren't cool Ass on a stick, you are dead

X L X   11. don't hit my car 1:52
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
i was driving
you came up
honked your horn and i said what
pull over now don't go far
next thing i knew you hit my car
don't hit my car
why did you hit my car
please don't hit my car
why did you hit my car
you must think you're a star
please don't hit my car
don't hit my car
oh wait
i'll get my bat
i'm gonna get my bat
i'll get my bat
and i'll hit your car
i'm gonna hit yer car
please don't hit my car
i love my car

X L X   12. john 3:17
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
a long time ago
in a land far far away
lived a little man
and his name was john
and john had an old tree in his backyard
every day he would go talk to his tree
the tree had a strange voice (hhhhhhhh)
and one day the tree spoke
(rrrrrrhhhhrrr)
"hello john," spoke the tree
"i shall reward you.
i will give you one wish john
what do you wish john"
john said "i wish the power of hell upon my soul"
john was powerful now
after that day, he hoauaod
"johnny boy," his mother said
"johnny boy," his mother said
she cried blood down blood stained cheeks
as blood tears rolled from her eyes
"john come back to me" she said
john could not hear he
for he had already go to the other side
john was never seen again.
john please come home to me john

X L X   13. psychedelic song (super extra long version) 0:56
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
oh man
groovy
it's too much, man

X L X   14. steven is the fat king 1:54
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
i know a guy who weighs 300 pounds
when he sits around, he really sits around

chorus:
steven is the fat king
steven is the fat king
steven steven steven
fat fat fat fa-fat fat
fat!

sucks on a scrotum dog
in the toilet lies a big fat log
this guy is so fat, he's really really fat

(chorus)

steven, steven
steven, he's fat
steven, steven
steven, he's fat
eats a pie, drinks a soda
300 burgers is his quota (x3)

(chorus)

X L X   15. bathroom song 0:46
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
pee pee pee pee pee pee
pee pee pee pee pee pee

X L X   16. as the rainbow fades 1:29
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
-instrumental-

X L X   17. i'm an ugly bastard 0:33
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
bastard
i'm an ugly bastard
i am an ugly bastard
i am so ugly i am a bastard
i am an ugly ugly bastard
if you see me walking down the street
you must tell me that i am an ugly bastard
i am an ugly ugly ugly bastard
i am ugly
i'm an ugly bastard

X L X   18. planet 6 2:28
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
-instrumental-

X L X   19. the druid song 3:00
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
bob is a druid
he knows a lot of stuff
he reads books on math and science
he studies all the time
he's real good at poetry
he didn't invent the dime

bob comes from ireland
one of the celtic nations
his religion is pre-christian
he believes in many gods
he has a god for everything important in his life
huh

there are many ceremonies in bob's religion
they're called druidic holidays
there's a series of fire festivals
along with seasonal festivals
a festival for every six weeks
the fire festivals are three days long
the best time for a sacrifice is sunset on the first day

bob believes in cosmic balance
he studies astronomy
and one day when he took a pee
he looked up in the sky
break it down

X L X   20. get out of the bathroom 0:24
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
hey are you in there or what
get out of the bathroom, man

X L X   21. peanut man 0:35
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
would you like a peanut
would you like a peanut
would you like some popcorn
would you like a peanut
would you like some popcorn
would you like some popcorn
?
i like the red sauce
the red sauce goes good with me
would you like a peanut

S L X   22. my name is sussssy (take 1) 1:09
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
my name is sussssy
what is your name
my name is sussssy
how do you spell sussssy
s-u-s-s-s-s-y

X L X   23. the phone song 0:48
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
-instrumental-

X L X   24. don't step to this 0:31
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
i like a soufflé
don't step to this
i'll take a piss
my name is fat

X L X   25. bobby 2:59
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
i once knew a boy named bobby
and he was a strange young lad
he liked to wear his mommy's bra
and boy that made him glad
i once knew a boy named bobby
his name is bobby that's what i said
he'd take peanut butte
and put it on his head
bobby
now bobby's parents didn't like what bobby had just done
even though bobby said he was only having some fun
they told him not to do that or they'll send him away
but bobby just kept doing it just the same old way
bobby
now bobby's in another land under the sky and trees
and when he sends a letter, he writes it with his knees
bobby

X L X   26. spontaneous comb 3:22
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)

X L X   27. pancakes & broccoli (live) 2:24
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)

X L X   28. outer space 0:13
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
hello, you've reached outer space
otis peckerfield speaking
i'm not able to come to the phone right now
but i'll get back to you at the nearest convenience
if you'd be so kind as to leave a message when i say doot
doot

X L X   29. homework 15:21
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
-instrumental-

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