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the zid - released March 1997 - Lyrics

the zid Lyrics

60 minutes.
If you don't like this one, you are stupid.
Just kidding; know a fence.

As of November 2002, this has been "re-released." All new copies of this album will now be the digitally remastered collector's edition. The old CD version already had extra-long versions of "hidden secret guy" and "elegant journey," but the new one also sounds way better.


S = sound file L = lyrics T = transcription

X L X   01. change it, bill 1:59
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
(turn on the radio, bill)
"dope hat" by marilyn manson
this sucks (change it, bill)
"double dare" by bauhaus
no way (change it, bill)
"gotta get away" by offspring
stupid (change it, bill)
"molly's lips" by nirvana
retarded (change it, bill)
"double dare" by bauhaus
not again (change it, bill)
"sliver" by nirvana
id-ee-it (change it, bill)
"blind" by korn
that's corny (change it, bill)
"brain stew" by green day
duuhhhh-umb (change it, bill)
"the process" by insert piz here->
this sucks (change it, bill)
no way (change it, bill)
stupid (change it, bill)
retarded (change it, bill)
not again (change it, bill)
id-ee-it (change it, bill)
that's corny (change it, bill)
duuhhhh-umb (change it, bill)

X L X   02. the process 2:37
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
the process...a world of unity
blissful ignorants following the herd
the herd splits, follows another
splits again and again
many small herds against each other
the realisation of individuality; chaos
and utter destruction of the race...the process

why evil one?

world of unity dies
world of unity dies

let's all play a game
of mislead the followers

you bite me, you hit me, you grind me in the ground
you think i care?
you crack my bloody bones open and you laugh at the sound
because you're scared

everyone would be happy
if nothing good
ever happend

the process...a world of unity
blissful ignorants following the herd
utter destruction of the race. the process.

S L S   03. johnny & the platypus 2:49
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
do you hate the way i look
do you read from your holy book
who is the face of your devil
take this hate to another level

Johnny and the platypus

do you hear little red people
how high is your erected steeple
what is wrong with a little fun
does your god bear a son

Johnny and the platypus

what's under your bed, little girl
did you check for me
what is in your head, little girl
is it i who you see

Johnny and the platypus

lick it, shov it, keep it, end it

X L X   04. the lumberjack 0:47
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
hey baby i wantcha com'ere
hey baby just swallow your fear
i'm gonna kill ya so puke it back up
it doesn't matter 'cause that's close enough for me ta
chop you up with my lumberjack axe
chop you down just like a lumberjack i'm gonna
chop your head off and juggle your eyes and your brain
chop you up in my tub and watch your blood run
down the drain

X L X   05. joe balding 0:08
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)

X L X   06. hit-o-rama '96 4:21
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
you can do it Susie! shake those legs!
from new zwitzihalla, Susie Straglioni!!!
and from off of the streets, Bob Billy-o-Bob-Bobby-Bob!!!

i'm Tom Flex here with Joe Pecs live at Hit-o-Rama '96
here's the ref with the starting rules


you heard that folks, those were special rules just for this fight,
because of the nature of these...ahh...components

*bing bing*

Tom- ooooohh!!! Susie starts off with a bone-crushing back swimmer!!!
Joe- ooohhhhhh, that's gotta hurt
Tom- it sure does, Joe
Joe- but wait! Bob Billy-o-Bob-Bobby-Bob breaks free and puts Susie
in a neck-ripping bike rider!!! Bob Billy-o-Bob-Bobby-Bob sends Susie
over the ropes!!
Tom- don't count Susie out yet, i see him out there every day, working hard.
i think he'll come back
Joe- Susie puts him in a good move and wins the match!!!!
Tom- Susie's gonna be live on pay-per-view at the cage next Monday don't miss it folks be there or be square!!!!!!!
Joe- and now for a live interview in the locker room with Ron Nex!!!

Ron- hello, I'm Ron Nex, here with Susie Straglioni
how do you feel about your victory?
Ron- well you know, victory means winning
Ron- okay, now let's go to Bob Billy-o-Bob-Bobby-Bob....
Bob Billy-o-Bob-Bobby-Bob! how do you feel about losing to Susie Stragabaloney?

Ron- alright let's bring you back to ringside, live

Hit-o-Rama '96 has been brought to you by:
Cumagadden, the natural stuff
and, by Wart Hog de-plumbing
we get all those ugly wart hogs out of your sink

dude, i can't get up and leave, i got wood

hon, are you looking' at that woman over there?
uh, no (smack!) ow

c'mon, spit on 'im

X L X   07. sad dude 1:13
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
i'm not evil, i'm not good, i'm just always sad
i'm always either wrong or right, but i'm not always bad

hey joe, whaddaya know; he's not always sad
hey joe, whaddaya know; he's just always bad

X L X   08. prune boy runs amok 0:13
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)

X L X   09. bone in the road 2:45
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
i wake up all alone, i'm sitting at home
i dig in the ground and look for a bone
i bury one here, i bury one there
i bury one wherever i don't really care
when my master comes home, i'm pissing on his shoes
he's always really drunk and smelling like booze
he kicks me with a foot, he slaps me with a hand
i'm digging for my bone, i'm covered in sand
he beats me with a stick, me beats me with a rope
he makes me take a bath, he washes me in soap
i wanna get away, i dig next to the fence
i steal from my house 42 cents
that should be enough to buy me a bone
for when i'm at home, sitting all alone
i see the mailman, he turns and tries to run
i wanna chase him because it's really really fun
i bite him in the butt, what a great game
there's nothing that I've ever played that is quite the same
there's only one problem, i still don't got my bone
i'm walking down the street and i'm still all alone
oh goody goody, i see me a bone
it's lying in the street, and it's all alone
me and the bone will make a happy pair
i run into the street super fast without a care
now i got my bone, but now i see a ca
i run left i run right but i don't go fa
the car hits me, i'm feeling kind of dead
but i got my bone so I'm happy instead

X L X   10. sneak past the gorilla 1:02
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)

S L X   11. chocolate dinner 1:08
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
chocolate sand
chocolate sky
chocolate's stuck
on my mind
chocolate waves
with chocolate ice

X L X   12. left wing hits a fault 0:15
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)

X L X   13. the monster who runs through the forest and kills people 2:15
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
something is waiting
standing at the door
knocking at the window
sitting on the floor
something is watching
staring through it all
over my left shoulder
looking from the hall
something is hunting
running in the wood
trampling the flowers
standing where i stood

S L S   14. coconut juice 1:05
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
i'm in hawaii
sitting by the sea
is looking right at me
i'll get some coconut juice
i'm getting sweaty
out here in the sun
i need a beach ball
so i can have some fun
i'm thirsty
i'd like some coconut juice
here comes mr. taco man
i dig through my pents
i'll buy a taco
for 25¢
bring me some coconut juice

X L X   15. kidney shot to the head 0:33
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
taxidermy bob (repeat)

X L X   16. mr. doo doo head 1:38
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
they wandered in the desert for at least four thousand years
when any man looks upon them he faces all of his fears
don't go to to their desert or they'll chew your bones,
eat your eyes, and drink your tears
on your way to the market stomach full of cereal and toast
look up ahead, turn around and you're lost

in the desert of the dead wyverns that rise from the sand
they'll be there forever and you'll join them if you're damned

S L S   17. salamander/monkey jig 1:35
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
as we walk through this forest, i know the voice of birds
i know and understand them and i will obey their words
i hear them speak you name and i know you are the monkey
your head falls to the duff and i go to a party...

there's nothing i can do, i can't escape his maze
i look and i see you, through all the mist and haze
and you frown all the while

the blood of salamander is what shall be drunk
the fire fills my stomach and I'm surrounded by the tree
i'll excrete my flame, and the tree it will be sunk
but i'll too descend shortly, because now i surround the tree

i die of starvation in the innermost curve of the maze
and through the frog's head you see me and you gaze
and you smile

falling through the layers to the bottom of the tower
to get back to the surface i will need more power
the monkey and the dragon are now my ruthless keepers
and there is no forest through which they wish to trod

(repeat first chorus)

flying through the trees

S L X   18. officer bobby 1:13
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
officer bobby from the British police here
i'll beat ya 'till you're bloody, just because you're ugly
then i'll go get drunk with my imaginary friends,
real people don't like me,
and i hate them

officer bobby
oi! oi!
here officer bobby
oi! oi!
there officer bobby
oi! oi!
everywhere is bobby
oi! oi! oi! oi!

anarchist Johnny from the revolution squad here
gonna smash bobby's head in, with a big rock
guess what bobby buddy, i'm gonna beat you bloody
then i'll go get drunk with my real live friends

officer bobby
oi! oi!
die officer bobby
oi! oi!
yer dead now bobby
oi! oi!
no more bobby

X L X   19. 4 stiffs in a limp 0:11
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)

X L X   20. the special button pt. 1 0:57
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
sometimes i try to win my game
but i need the special button
the special button is under my drawer
i try to reach it but i need a skinny arm
so i look for the little arm
do you have a skinny arm?
yes, so i chop off the little kid's skinny arm
i go home and use the skinny arm
i put it under the drawer
the hand grabs the little button
i pull the arm out but the hand won't let go of the damn button
so i fight for the button
fiercely i fight and i thrust
and i thrust there and there and there and there
and i thrust and i thrust
but the hand won't let go
so i lose the darn game

X L X   21. i am dead? 0:54
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
and would you still love me if i was really ugly,
fat as a whale?
would you still make me feel good like i do now?
and will you still talk to me when i'm dead?
will you hold me like you do now?
will you still love me when i am dead?

X L X   22. hidden secret guy 1:46
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
hidden secret guy, hidden secret guy
up there talkin' to the birds and the sky

i'm up here on top of the place
i'm watchin' you all the time
i pretend you can't see me
and i'm watching you all the time
but you can't see me 'cause i'm hidden secret guy
hidden secret guy

X L X   23. i have no donuts 1:48
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
all my chickens are in the barn
all my cows are in the farm
what more can i say
may, flay, cray, bay, tray
every soul is gone
and now i am lost
my toes are having a meeting
with old jack frost
where is my life going to lead
what else in life do i need

X L S   24. into the cathedral we go 1:16
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
pissin' in the darkness pissin' out my memories
into the stained glass toilet bowl
standin' on the four-coloured rock
in the back of an antique shop

X L X   25. i wouldn't give you a bucket of water if you were drowning 0:14
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)

S L S   26. jacket, the brown 2:32
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
walking circles in the wine bottle,
and my hair is made of cheese
and everything i touch
turns to green peas
I'm a food-aholic and I'm freaking out on food
next thing you know I'll be walking in the nude

stop it bobby,
bobby stop it

i was walking through the forest
walking on my knees
and everything i touch
is everything i please.
i was looking for my brown jacket that's what i need
'cause in my brown jacket's a sack of goat feed

where's my brown jacket

i found my brown jacket but the goat feed was gone
so i gave my jacket to a froggie, he was sitting in a pond

and now I'm floating in the clouds, high above the trees
and everywhere there's a beautiful, just beautiful breeze

X L S   27. rat friend 1:17
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
i stink and i smell and i reek bad of urine
they try to catch me but I'm in the toilet bowl
i jump down below into the sewer system
at night they hunt with flashlights and scary faces
they have dogs real mean dogs but i have my rat friend
we hitch out of town with a bag full of brownies
as we leave the city limits i feel super
they tried to catch me with their brain-powered thinkers
my rat friend and i we can hide in the sewers
from town to town to town to town to town to town
the FBI wants me for painting their bathroom
but they can't find me 'cause I've got my rat friend
from town to town to town i hide in the sewers

X L X   28. ¿cómo ser queso? 0:22
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)

X L X   29. the haunted sheep 3:19
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
what am i doing
and what have i done
i don't know what'cha want or what'cha do, hon
i don't know where you wanna go butcha can't get it
from me. ha ha ha.
i don't know what kind of ideas
you have inside your head
i don't know what you'll be thinking
five minutes after you're dead
ha ha.
i don't really care
i don't wanna know
i don't care 'cause i'm a gonna kill ya,
i hatecha ha ha
i hatecha
you're gonna die, bill
why don't ya just scream and shout
and wave your arms all about
and get real mad at me like you wanna
doesn't matter bill 'cause i'm gonna kill ya,
i hatecha
i hatecha
you're gonna die, bill. ha ha
go outside, look at the trees
sit in a dark corner, smoke some seeds
lie right down and eat your own tongue
you got your last meal
that's all you get,
i'm gonna kill ya eatcha hatecha ha ha
i'm gonna eatcha
i kill ya
i hatecha
hatecha hatecha
i hatecha
do whatever you want, you can't get away
do whatever you want, you're gonna die today
you can eat
you can sleep
there is no cure for the haunted sheep
you can run
and you can die
all that is because of what happened...
to me....

X L X   30. mangolia 0:57
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
nectar, nectar, sweet and wet
nectar, nectar, nectar and sweat
just tell me and i'll lick your wounds
and lick and suck and drink your foods
the food of the gods is food for me too
there's nothing as sweet as the nectar from you

X L X   31. the empties 0:47
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
we are the empties and everyone dies
we don't smile we don't cry we don't laugh we don't sigh
we've got nothing in us you can see it in our eyes
when you're an empty all is meaningless
when you're an empty you are feelingless
we are the empties you don't need to sympathize
we are the empties don't bother with goodbyes

we are the empties and everyone dies

X L X   32. DANGER: chopped fat 0:13
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)

X L X   33. the girl with the funny twitch 1:13
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
girl, i love you

girl, i think about you every night
i just wanna, wanna hold you tight

girl, I'll be loving you
I'll be loving you, girl
every day and every night
I'll be loving you, girl

when we're walking across the street
i hold your hand for safety
i just wanna hold your hand
just wanna hold your hand
just wanna hold your hand, girl
break it down

girl i look at you
every day
I'm so glad I'm not gay
we get together,
it's like magic
girl, etc.

X L X   34. mr. cool meats himself 2:07
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)

X L X   35. only the weak 0:18
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)

X L X   36. the spinning nonexistence 3:12
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)

"No," said the apple, "I don't need any folding chairs today."
This confused absolutely no one, who was waiting outside at the time.
The apple came in to see her outside, but by then of course he was a pear.

"Let's leave now," the pear said.

"Not until i am finished arriving, my dear," she screamed.

"You'll have to speak up," said a passing bum from Pennsylvania.

All of this was very tiring for the pear, who became hungry and
ate himself, twice. She returned to the orange room, but disliked it's
dark pink color and decided to stay there for a while. That is when
several ants began circling around the idea of a barn.

"Whose idea was this anyways?" asked Bill the ant.

But there was no time for his question to go unanswered, since
none of that ever even happened. She of course realized this but paid
too much attention to acknowledge it because she was very involved with
nothing at all else. If this sounds strange to anyone that is because
she wanted it to.

"Which way to Seattle?" she asked. "I know it doesn't exist but
i need to be there tomorrow for last week's tree." At this a lightly
dark cloud rose up out of the ground beside her and told her that
Seattle did in fact exist, but that he couldn't understand why anyone
would go there, since it is made out of toenails, and is not actually a
place at all, but rather a dark pink banana.

"Thanks anyway," she tasted.

When all that was over with she became glad but cried because
she could not find her only possession, a paper bag full of another paper
bag full of yet another paper bag, inside which was the first and outer
paper bag. Written on half of the bags was the word "paper bags", which
in the language of the Bomgrintaoki means "love". she had lost
everything else too, except her mind, since she was only borrowing it
and had to return it to herself but instead forgot and put it under the

"If i had my paper bags, i would not need anything else," she
thought to herself and the girl sitting across from her.
the end

i'm sorry if the story makes no sense..."it makes sense to me," said no
one at all.`

X L X   37. the creamy biscuit 1:17
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)

X L X   38. cotarkeistic aldemrober 0:11
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)

X L X   39. mr. alien can fly 0:36
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
umm what's he trying to say?
hold on; can you repeat that?

mr. alien: belennubibnlmibnmenleblbernmublmbenbelnbelneb

i think they want to land
your ship is too big, go back

mr. alien: nblmbnnlnllblnlblbernebblminmlbimblbernebbublbnib

you do not have permission to land, mr. alien
i repeat get the heck off the runway

mr. alien: bmenbeoebboinbebbneembiuenembneingnebieneunebmm

X L X   40. choke and kill you underwater 0:35
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
nothin' you've ever seen

with a sweet poison through the closing gates i escape a dying world
and i pity those left behind to live
the only reason i didn't try was because i was dead

nothin' you've ever seen

X L X   41. the act of stick 0:38
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)

X L X   42. corpse in the corner 0:17
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)

X L X   43. a trip to cheese mountain 1:56
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
go ahead, have a throw

you with the bottle and the amorphous face
cut the throttle and fly over outer space

once there was a man with a hat.
"i am a man with a hat"
said the man with the hat.
there was also a man without a hat
"i am a man without a hat"
said the man without the hat.
said the man without the hat to
the man with the hat,
"i have no hat, can i have your hat"
"if i give you my hat then i will have no hat"
said the man with the hat.

"that was the end"
said the man with the hat

X L X   44. blood in the waves 0:46
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)

X L X   45. glass wood 0:21
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)

X L X   46. pepper-carrot sauce 1:09
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
i hear you call my name
i hear and call your number
in my head i hear my name in my head the ringing thunders
thunders and echoes and drives me mad
answer answer i am so sad
sad without you sad and lonely
lonely within you glad and lonely
i just wanna hear your voice
i just wanna kiss ya
i just wanna lick you
i just wanna hold you
i just wish i liked you
as much as i told you

X L X   47. the special button pt. 2 0:42
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)

X L X   48. screw/unscrew: 0:37
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)

X L X   49. resting place of the black chains 1:35
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
my blood spews forth from death's mouth choking gasping for air (he couldn't take it)
(me) i vomit on love forever dousing the flame so rare (the flame that wasn't there)
remember when they were when i die off; i won't be swallowed, i won't be burnt...
cover my name with a cough and show me that you've not yet learned
i embody (enjoy) the emptiness around my own heart
i embody (enjoy) what no man knows when the world finally reaches its start
i'll know where it goes
you'll be there when i am dead (again?)
i'll be there too
as i am in all ends (i'm gone)
i'm always here (a red brown fog)...always near (i'm still here) (there)

X L X   50. elegant journey 1:46
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)