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Wrongtastic - released December 2002 - Lyrics

Wrongtastic Lyrics

Wrongtastic, baby! This album is actually good. 50 tracks of pristine unadulterated musical genius.


S = sound file L = lyrics T = transcription

X L X   01. Codebreaking the Applesauce 0:40
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
you and i, we don't have to say "see you later, bye"
we could stay up here and float up in the sky
on our big fluffy cloud that is way up high
we could look down and see all the people with our eye
we could wave to them and say "hey hi"
wait a minute i think i might recognize that guy
and that guy and that guy and that guy too
i think his name just might be Dr. McGrew
who knows lots of stuff like counting to two which is
something that i've always wished that i could do
boo hoo

X L X   02. Toxic Waste 1:18
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
      i think you're right, Skeletor
   toxic waste
   toxic waste toxic waste toxic waste
could you pass me a towel
i'm wet and cold
   toxic waste
do you have a hairdryer i could borrow for a while
maybe just a day or two or three or four or five
      we can still get him if we hurry
or six or seven or eight or nine
   toxic waste toxic waste
      hurry like mold
this water smells so bad
   toxic waste

X L X   03. Homemade Glue 1:05
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
this is where you came into the conversation
had a situation that was out of control, oh no
you took a trip that lasted for years
like five or six and seven
and a handful of sand that was on demand
for a night on the town
we moved into space, we had a place
we could call our own like Mars and Saturn
and your treehouse that your dad built for you
back in 1642 with some homemade superglue oh yeah
those were good times meuyumon

X L S   04. Don't You Worry 0:57
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
don't you worry
      no, no, no
don't you worry
      no, no, no
don't you worry
      no, no, no
don't you worry, don't you fret
my best friend's got a robot pet
that's made out of metal
i think it's special, and how about you?
don't you worry
      no, no, no
don't you worry
      no, no, no
don't you worry
      no, no, no
don't you worry, don't you fret
my best friend is really upset
about nothing at all
i liked it so much, i got mad too
don't you worry
      no, no, no
don't you worry
      no, no, no
don't you worry
      no, no, no
please don't worry

X L S   05. Ear Eye 2:21
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)

X L X   06. My Fan Club 0:28
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
i've got a fan club
there's only one member and it's me
me me
i've got a fan club
there's only one member and it's me
me me

X L S   07. Milkin' the Barn 1:24
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
i wake up at five-thirty o'clock
just in time to hear the cock
i go outside and start milkin' the barn
the cows are flyin' away again, oh darn
piggy and chicken poop smell good to me
if i could just jump over that fence i'd be free
like bowels in the outhouse

S L X   08. Space Cows 1:56
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
training under the great masters of cud,
we learned the special technique of milk-fu
with their four brains they are able to process thought
to the extreme of bovinious enlightenment
on Marchtober 3rd, 4632,
the cows revolted against the space cowboys
who had been herding them for many a year
by mixing strains of milk, they had learned
to think outside of the four-squared space station
their thought had become more
than their so-called masters could understand
yes the cows had thought their space cowboys to death
so we journeyed to their planet called Cud
where we received mind-numbing explanations
of universal oneness. people have gone mad
listening to their lessons for too long
space cows

X L X   09. Remembering the Giant Monster 1:26
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
well, when i was a boy
me and the boys used to walk down to the cemetery
on the dark nights without the moon
and one particular night, they all died
and that's how i lost my arm
you see, there was this giant monster
with five eyes and no teeth
had ten arms if it had one
tore my arm clean off with its tongues
so when you see five red eyes floating toward you
on some moonless night in the graveyard
just give him your shoes
that's all he really wants`

X L S   10. Space Zombies 1:24
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
space zombies come from a planet called Dead
where they never sleep in a regular bed and
brains are found in a mouth and not in a head
they seek out other space creatures
for their bloody brain supply
'cause if zombie babies don't get their brains
then to their mothers, they will cry
you could die from their poisonous brain pie
or a deadly brain spear thrown right through your eye
oh my if you go to their zombie town you will die
for sure
'cause your brains they will eat
if the zombies you meet tonight

X L S   11. Killing My Dead Friend 1:42
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
gimme a call, yeah after you've died
and risen from the grave
gimme a ring, yeah after you're dead
and have come to eat our brains
even though you died long ago
we can still be friends you and i
'cause i would expect the same from you
after i have died
after i have died
after i have died
we could hang out and get ice cream
even though you're a flesh-eating zombie
i don't care, no i don't mind
'cause you are my bestest friend
we were pals, yeah we were chums
and i don't want to let go
i don't care if you're undead
even though you're eating my toe
gimme a call, yeah after you've died
and risen from the grave
gimme a ring, yeah after you're dead
and have come to eat our brains

go to the sun and go to the moon
pick enough flowers for everyone
we'll have some fun; there's a raccoon
let's name it after the letter fifty-one
rabbits are fun and carrots are cool
i know how to drown you in a pool
you like bunnies and you like bats
and i like to kill you
go to the moon and go to the sun
introduce exotic plants, like a spoon
if you can get your head out of your brain
put it back in so i can drive you insane
then take it back out and glue it in half
i killed you with a candy cane
i have a stick and i have a staff
i kill people for fun in space
i can't feel my head
i guess i'm dead
my lung's on a plate and my brain's in a can
i think you killed me, Dan
go to the moss and go to the gum
go to the frog and go to the place
i have a hook and i have a patch
i kill people for fun in space

X L X   12. Butterjelly 3:03
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
life is just a big leaky box of blood
with watered-down bacteria, pepper, and mud
if you catsup you can relish
all the salt that you can mustard
have ice cream when it's hellish
whipped cream banana custard
soupy strange brown slop caked on a layered wrap
and what a sour pickle you're in now
wake up, smell that flour
now that's butterjelly
hardcore butterjelly yeah huh wow
watch out for that tomato juice
and those green peas
huh uh wow
apple pie is good for you
helps you grow big and fat
fat like me yeah mmmm
butterjelly butterjelly
butterjelly on my toast uh
my toast yeah
that's butterjelly
that's butterjelly
that's butterjelly
butterjelly yyy y

X L S   13. Fish Belly Darkness 1:08
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
i'm in love with an outer space ghost who haunts me, yeah
she comes to me through the deep black sea
in a translucent haze like a fish belly
she's short and scares me but i don't mind
'cause i love her
my space prairie dogs get mad
when she comes to visit in my ship
yeah they try and bite her
she's not made out of matter,
my outer space love ghost
don't try to fight her
so i'll feed all my space prairie dogs
to a prairie eating dragon who will take them from me
and he'll say, "thanks!"
see you later little doggies!
and i'll go and live with my space,
with my space ghost love
and we'll be happy, so happy on our own little planet
and we'll say, "aaahh, prairie dogs, aahh, take that!"

X L X   14. My Children Need Wine 0:11
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
oh man
   wow that was perfect
i wanted to say, "my children need wine"
   no no that was good
no i need to say that at the very end of the song
   no, no you don't
yes, yes i do

X L X   15. Zombie-Anti-Guns 3:08
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
here we are on Planet Dead,
fighting space zombies who are trying to eat our heads
shooting them down with our giant space guns yeah
it's pretty damn bloody but you know it sure is fun
yeah we heard of your kind from our zombie radar
so we came down here to steal all of your cars
'cause boy, aren't they fast? yeah, look at them go!
with this kind of car, you will never miss the show
so here we are, zombies, to finish off your kind
no more eating flesh and eating others' mind
no more trapping people to be your yummy feast
yeah that's kind of gross, not to say the least
yeah your flesh-eating days have all been numbered
yeah we're mowin' you down, striking you like thunder
try to eat us if you dare but you won't
because we've got zombie-anti-guns so you beware
you can come from the ground and you can come from
the trees or you can come from the sky and try and eat
our knees, but you won't succeed, mister zombie
mister space zombie
i hope you had fun on your Planet Dead
'cause in the next second, you'll be eating my lead
oi, get ready men! there they are over that hill
fire when you see the blood of their eyes
that'll teach you to eat my brain

X L S   16. Robot Horde 1:07
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
robots from another galaxy came to our planet
and tried to take all our zombie juice
'cause they live off that and they get real fat
and we tried to stop 'em but it didn't work
and they captured us 'cause they're robot jerks
and we live in a cell all by ourselves
and we plan against the robot horde
now we've planned our attack against
the robots who have captured us
we'll take them by surprise
and pour water onto their circuits
and they'll self-destruct and blow right up
and we'll say hooray and have a celebration
that would never stop that would never stop
that would never stop
never stop never stop
okay, it stopped

X L X   17. Solid Rock Again 1:39
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
grab off my nose but please don't
i'll need it for when i won't
i ate fruit back onto the tree
i drowned water right out of the sea
i don't know where to park my tar
i can't spell b h j k l q r
learn how to forget how to remember
to forget to learn how...
floating around in solid rock again
put in my shoe and untie my sock
mold yourself into a lump of clay
(and that's all i got to say)

X L X   18. Mr. Boar's Important Lesson 4:29
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
skiddledy deep budimbudoo, boombadoombadoo
skiddledy, gobbeldadoop
little Miss Mary Jackson was really good at fractions
yeah she could add a-real good
every day in math class she would raise her hand
'cause she would know all the answers to the
mathematics problems. none of the kids
really liked her 'cause she was so smart
yeah she would go to the store for her mom
to buy some groceries. she knew exactly
what the price of them were going to be
so she pushed her shopping cart around the store
and then one day she was approached by a boar
big hairy pig came up and said,
"please don't buy bacon anymore"
she thought this was funny so she landed on the floor
in hysterical laughter
Mr. Sam Cobbler was really good at the plumb bobber
he would take measurements of the street
to make sure that it was straight
one day little Miss Jackson met Mr. Sammy Bobber
and they ate lots of pizza together
that very same night at the pizza bakery
Miss Mary Jackson knew how many
pepperonis he wanted on his pizza
Sam Bobber made sure that the pizza was straight
yes the pizza was straight and there was enough
pepperonis for everyone to eat
but then Mr. Boar came along and said,
"hey, don't be eating pepperonis either"
so they fell on the floor once again
in hysterical laughter

X L X   19. Hypnotic Sensor Beam of Doom 0:24
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
rockin' out
you can only see with your two eyes
i see with sensors, hypnotize
i see with sensors, paralyze
you can only see with your two eyes

X L X   20. Vegetarian Zombies 3:26
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
zombies have risen from the grave
to eat your vegetables; they're not safe anymore
they've come from far and wide
searching for what's inside your fridge
there they are in the produce section
ripping out the artichoke hearts
eating heads of lettuce and broccoli
your vegetables aren't safe anymore
'cause they're vegetarian zombies
lock your door and bury your greens
these zombies aren't here for your brains
they want carrots and celery with green beans
vegetarian zombies, yeah
there they are in your garden like bunny rabbits
digging up your radishes and squash
with dirt in their nails, corn and peas
are what's on their diet not your brains
or meat or your arms or their legs
'cause they're vegetarian zombies, yeah
vegetarian zombies, yeah
they don't want your brains
they want some soybeans
with the tofu and the veggie turkey
apples and grapes are their favorite thing
'cause they're vegetarian zombies
yeah yeah yeah
yeah uh yeah ow yeah
yeah give it to me

S L X   21. Barebacking Space Hippos 1:07
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)

X L S   22. Turn Down the Microphone 0:58
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
good afternoon
turn down the microphone
turn down the microphone
i don't want to hear my stupid voice no more
no more no more don't want to hear it no more
i've sung too much and sung too long
so turn it down, yeah make it gone
'cause i don't want to hear me sing no more
no more no more
my ears are bleeding, my hair is gone
time to die, i hope it's not long
so turn down the microphone
turn it down, turn it down

X L X   23. The Robot Slide 1:35
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
much to know about all their secret plans,
so we sneak aboard their ship and try to understand
what they are building
hiding behind our enemies' lines,
we look around to see what we may find
and we find important documents
with the finding of these we become much pleased and
we start to crawl back on our hands and our knees
upon further examination, we come to an explanation
of what they're going to do
a giant disco robot is what they're going to build and
if we don't stop them now, then we'll surely be killed
we're almost to our ship when we suddenly hear the lip
of robots on patrol
they come running after us so we crawl away fast,
but they use their laser guns and shoot us in the ass
we get taken by these fiends and thrown into a stream
of galactic dust
we make it to our craft, but their laser on my ass
will be hurting for a while

X L X   24. Bombaclad 1:11
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
that's right mon! we gonna break it down for you one time right up in your earea! bombaclad, boy
sheeno ehhh mamai geesabooley
chumacheng daka bee
hooye hooye
      kumadeen shamey
   numakee namaleedo yaa
      chub kooky lukamoka lakifiko la
   chamaneeno kama tikamo ba
      cheemachu chibaliki dulimeda
   beesnop adeestop masidea
      chikawafi noki zinkadudi batzinkwa
nomsab nomsab
   jumaneep akamakama lupasillano
nomsabi tiko ra
   chaka ma cheep bopacheel
   jimakop et nugadali neet noop beelrada
      kemasonkena nemodi shatalu
   chop chimachuma cheep lop leebaloap
   keemaleet lo sheemanaka tu tee cha
      'cause a if you like a mukilikaneka
   cheekacheek cheeka chookachoo
      nukaneesu lamitku krashilla
   kamateek lu ra
      that's how it's done
you know what he's talkin' about
   that's how it's done, mon. that's how we do it here.
that's how we do it
      ya, tell me about it, mon
   take one

X L X   25. The Darkness 2:15
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
the darkness, creeping ever outward
swallowing light and color
sweeping away sounds
spinning unperceived, uncontrolled
enclosing evil amongst us
birthing a monster of simplicity
flashing into solidity
a modulating hum like melodious buzzing
accompanied by a mechanical pump
pushing a pulse so loud as to beat the galaxy
into a trance, vibrating space itself
kremlon ate all the matter before drinking time
then we, the nonexistent,
turned it inside-out and upside-down
like a backwards frown

X L X   26. Dungeon of Happiness 1:01
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)

X L X   27. Scream Lalalalalala 1:50
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
scream lalalalalala
scream lalalalalalalala
screeeeeee ee eee eee eeeam
lalalalala la lala lala lala lala lala

X L X   28. Lunar Bear Chaos 0:35
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
she looked at me one day and said "goodbye"
      she looked at me asibasebasimoo
i looked and her and i said "why?"
      well chocolate fingers, they taste like glue
she looked at me and said "you died"
      out of control gummi bears on the moon
i looked at her and said "oh yeah"
      Johnny the Carcass, he never had it so good
      can't you listen
one two three

X L X   29. Dad's 1975 Buick Rocket Ship 0:55
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
we snuck out with the rocket ship
one night when my dad was fast asleep
he never noticed that it was gone
fighting off asteroids,
we flew throughout the entire galaxy
ha ha, my dad will never know
it was the best time in my whole life,
we could go forever without stopping
yeah we returned the other night
my dad awoke the next morning
and looked out the front window
and it was wrecked and you know what?
i'm sorry, Dad

X L X   30. Old Crunchy 1:25
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
Crunchy sits on our shoulder
there never will be a bird that's older
he eats space bugs and calls me Honey
i only wear eye patches when it's sunny
Cap'n! space ghost ship three parsecs off the port bow
snar them spirits! we'll have the lot!
we'll plunder their coranges and booty and the
knaves will get scwervy and head rot
and the space ghost sharks will eat what's left
arrr but Cap'n the space cops abaft
load the crannons, eat the chips
ahoy, matey! a cartoony planets sits in the distance
fire! direct hits! kaboom!
yearrr, we took care o' them no good fuzzies

X L X   31. Forty-Nine Bottles 1:34
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
and then we went to the store and then we had
to fall on the floor 'cause bananas peels were all over it
so i got up and said "aw beep" i can't say that on TV
so we took off in a car that had
forty-nine different bottles
and the bottles were full of grape Kool-Aid
so we got outside and we started to drink
the forty-nine bottles
and we fell on the ground laughing
because we had drunk forty-nine bottles
yet i'm alive
yet i am still alive

X L X   32. Thanks to the Monkey 2:06
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
now i'm really ready; those were just practice sessions
chooka chooka, laka laka hee
the crab spirit fought the crazy monkey
to save the duck in the sombrero galaxy
that's the way it was told to me
now the monkey became a really good guy
and didn't want to see all the worlds die
so he took off straight into the sky
to fight the evil robot, with his laser eye
so the battle was fought deep in outer space where
the monkey found the robot and quickly gave chase
so the robot he turned to shoot his laser eyes
and hit the good-guy monkey right between the thighs
the monkey cried out in pain and surprise,
then cursed the evil robot for having laser eyes
just then, from out of nowhere,
the monkey leaped up and said, "i declare!
we will stand no more for your evil robot ways!
i'm taking revenge right here today!"
the monkey fought like he was possessed
and went for the robot to do his very best
the robot tried to fight but he didn't stand a chance
'cause the monkey was crazy and he came from France
he tore that robot open from his head down to his feet
he never had a chance to see his great defeat
the monkey destroyed the robot's laser eyes
and kept them for his dinner and baked them into pies
'cause the monkey was crazy as i said before
yeah he beat that evil robot, the robot is no more
so tonight when you go and gaze into the sky
thanks to the monkey for defeating robot eyes
thanks to the monkey
thanks, thanks monkey
thanks to the monkey

X L X   33. Penguins of Doom 1:19
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
sleep with a penguin gun bolted to your head
penguins in the dark poking around in your bed
remember what i'm telling you or you will be dead
kill the penguins now or watch out, pop
they chew out your brain and they never stop
penguins back from the grave to kill you till you drop

S L X   34. Nothing Happens 0:25
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
nothing happens
i've misplaced my mind
may i borrow yours?
empty your pockets
show me your carpet
my head keeps falling off
will you trade me?
nothing happens
nobody's in here
we're all gone
stuff never happens
open your head
cry me to sleep

X L X   35. Misconception 2:12
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
we are the children of misconception
floating through the void without direction
we search for our minds and we spread infection
leaving you with no affection
give it up and leave it behind
into your past you can't rewind
but look inside and you may find
the truth of reality in your mind
      doodee doodee hee hee hey
      you won't listen to a word i say
      doodee doodee ho ho arr
      you haven't listened to a word so far
your thoughts are random and confused
you live your life to be amused
but in the end yeah you will lose
your mind is frantic and abused
up till now you've been quite good
you've done the things that you thought you should
but if i asked for you to change,
do you think you could?
or have my words been misunderstood
      doodee doodee hee hee hey
      you won't listen to a word i say
      doodee doodee ho ho arr
      you haven't listened to a word so far

X L X   36. Elephant Steals the Trumpet 2:47
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)

X L X   37. Green Wonder 0:38
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
well listen up now
there used to be an old cow puncher 'round these parts
used to have a horse named Green Wonder
it was a cow horse
giddyup Green Wonder, yee-haw!
giddyup Green Wonder, yee-haw!
you know what, Green Wonder?
you're the best dang cow horse in the whole world

X L X   38. Chew, Park 1:07
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
and that was the story of Green Wonder, the cow
puncher horse cow that was a cow puncher horse. and
he was the best dang cow puncher horse cow there ever
were. and that was a true story.
things will smell better and taste better.
relaxation is important in relieving
the mental stress you may feel.
then you chew, then you park.
you do that until the zing is gone.
in fact, there is even a wallet card in your user's guide
for you to do just that.
chew, park, chew, park, chew, park

X L X   39. Shopping 1:48
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
bananas and grapes and little spongey cakes
that could last forever and still taste great
peanuts and cherries and little blueberries
i love it when they get all green and hairy
some bread and butter for my toast
and then i'll get some chocolate later for the pot roast
all so delicious for my tummy
i'll eat them all at once and say "yum yum yummy!"
some milk and cream for when i have to scream, and
some of the biggest broccoli sprouts that i've ever seen
oh my god, they're huge! whatever shall i do?
i'll make them with some pancakes and say "woohoo"
some mac and cheese with the green peas
i'll shove them up my nose and then i'll have to sneeze
"achoo!" i'll say, but that is okay
'cause i had all the food that i could eat today
shopping in the market, oh what fun
i'll run around the store and say "yum yum yum"
shopping in the market, oh what fun
i'll run around the store and say "yum yum yum"

X L X   40. Rainbow Matter 1:44
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
this, other observers, would seem preposterous
under the usual circumstances
but something happened just then
that would bring the piper to a standstill
unlike any that had come before that night was
over and out of the game of chance
come back into the world you see before you got out
for a night on the town folk were anxious for the
ceremony to begin let me congratulate you for a job
less taken back road to nowhere
but here you see my meaning of the situation
a handshake and a look in the eye was all i needed
to die that day before its time was up
you must not let the thing such as this bring you
downtown in a dark alleyway station
inside your own mind
for ever and eve
until there was no more of the show
with a lamp cord in his brain
monkey dancing after twelve

X L X   41. The Ship Falls Apart 2:09
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
the ship falls apart when the sturmites eat it
so we make a new one from silly putty
and plastic toothpicks
then Crunchy eats the sturmites and says,
"yummy; buggies are gummy"
and we fly past a satellite emitting brainywaves
that our computer saves in its lunchbox
for later at the picnic on Jupiter
we steal food from the giant ant's kitchen
and it's better than fishin'
in the desert on mars and the ship melts
under the sun into jars
so we use the duct tape and the safety pins
and build another one again
and again

X L X   42. Doorstep of Death 0:26
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
you wave me off with your paper hand
now touching me lightly upon my fiery pit
of fleshy carbon-based life forms
i pity you happily singing to yourself
death upon my doorstep now go

X L X   43. Pretty Good Techno 1:06
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
all right, go ahead
      no, we don't have to
no, go ahead
      no, we don't have to
no, go ahead
      no, we don't have to
no, it's okay
      no, we don't have to
   dude, that's perfect
go ahead
      no, we don't have to
sure, go ahead
      no, we don't have to
yeah go ahead
      no, we don't have to
yeah go ahead
      no, we don't have to
go ahead go ahead
      no, we don't have to
go ahead
      no we don't have to
we should go ahead
   we don't have to go ahead we don't have to go ahead
      no we don't have to
let's go ahead and do it. let's go ahead
      no we don't have to
let's go ahead. i wanna go ahead and do it
   dude, that's perfect
i wanna go ahead and do it now. let's go ahead
      no, we don't have to
   dude, that's perfect
let's do it
      no, we don't have to
go ahead

X L X   44. The Pizinator of Doom 1:11
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
black cherries in a bowl of ice cream
i wake up in the other world inhabited by screams
locked down in a very nice way
i could say cookachoo and that would be okay
to anyone anywhere anytime anymind
anyhow anyway i don't think that they would mind
at all. at all.
peg board through the eyes of The Pizinator
i look at the world and i say i'll have to see you later
i'm off on a doomed trip of doom. of doom.

X L X   45. That 2:44
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
flying around in fear of someone falling on my foot
face finally frozen from the fried fool
staple takes vacation day for everyone
presents ugly open clothed
thirty-one, thirty-one, fifty-one reasons
not to buy a new brain
it won't change with the seasons
won't run into no train
hold yourself for ransom and don't negotiate
don't give in, vomit what you ate
if you learn to figure skate it's already too late
for the tap dancing spider monkeys dressed in red
ants carry bouquets on their backs for the guests
i fall up to the ceiling with my eyes filled with dread
and i close all of my fingers for those monkeys
they're the best
fry, drown, and bury me way up in that sun
flaming ball of gas peels my eyelids back
dry hot and crumbling and i'm not the only one
the same thing happens to the king of this town
and the monkeys all laugh and the hamsters
gather 'round and the weasels slip away
into the cold of the night and the squirrels
play for keeps and the lord won the fight

X L X   46. Extra-Fanciness of Doom 0:57
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
this here is Fancy Drum Paul
with his fancy drum playing
Paul went to fancy school to earn his master's in
percussive fanciness
with his awesome breakbeats and fancy-ass rhythm,
he has conquered many a drum kit
with his fancy expertise and knowledge he has turned
the globe looking for the perfect drum line
(here he is breakin' it down fer ya)
some say he will never find it
but his fanciness will drive him
it will drive him to the end

X L S   47. The Joy of Piracy 2:23
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
bein' a pirate is the greatest thing
the greatest thing in the world
everybody knows it's true
except if you're a girl
now listen up and don't be scared
'cause you can join us here
you can join our merry crew and
drink your weight in beer
our boat is made of the finest wood
and our teeth are made of gold
and every single thing you eat
is completely covered in mold
piracy can be real fun but
only if you have the heart
so cut out your eye and use a patch
and that could be a start
now you know how fun it can be
if you're a pirate too
and if you don't like our tale
oh well, find employment at the zoo
bein' a pirate is the greatest thing
the greatest thing in the world
everybody knows it's true
except if you're a girl

S L X   48. Wrongtastic 1:28
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
i'm stuck inside my house today
it's raining cats and dogs
they're falling on the ground in heaps of blood
reminds me of the day
it all went wrongtastic, baby yeah
i'm getting hungry, gotta eat a sandwich
made of mustard and pork chops
on a sesame seed bun
makes me think of the meal
that was wrongtastic, baby yeah
call my dog on the telephone
asking him to please come home
he laughed at me and said to go to hell
that dog is really wrongtastic, baby yeah
'cause it's wrongtastic, baby
wrongtastic baby yeah yeah yeah

X L X   49. Heavy Doom Crap of Doomyness 4:51
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)
"time for bed," said Mr. Sleepyhead
who had to eat bread so he wouldn't be dead
so he went to bed so he could sleep and count sheep
and dream of Little Bo Peep in a Jeep
going down a hill that's really steep
at the end of the bottom was a big garbage heap
that was really deep, so she parked her Jeep
at the bottom of the hill that was steep
but forgot to put on the parking brake
and it started to creep
onto her toe. "oh no," she cried out
"you have to let go! it's starting to feel cold like snow
i'll have it cut off and feed it to Moe the crow
who lives down the street next to Poe
whoa, that's it now, stop the flow
that's leaking from my toe"

wondering just where i'm from
and maybe i'm from kingdom come
open up your soul to me
what are you hiding that i can't see
if you want to walk down my road
then listen to your conscience
and do what you're told
looking at your eyes, i can see that you're shy
just don't walk away and say goodbye
i thought you'd understand but i guess you don't
i wanted to explain but now i guess i won't
with a coo cookachooka choo choo

X L X   50. Bucket of Iceberg 0:30
(Lyrics & Music by The Piz)