the shampoo story
the shampoo story
This story is based on actual events that may or may not have happened.
by Hieronymus and the pizard
well see My friend and I were driving, and my friend has only had her licence for a yera now because she held up a department store and killed a man, so herdrivers licence was taken away, but she got it back a year ago, anyways we were just coming back from...
from the nude beach where we would hang out often. just then an evil horse robot appeared in front of the car and.................
we swerved and said "fuck, what is up with all these evil horse robots on the road today"
"well, it is arbor day"
oh yeah forgot. Lets go get a burger
lets go get a burger
as we were approaching the burger place a strange thing happened. everything as far as we could see had turned into shampoo, except for the burger place, as it was conditioner. for some reason the car and ourselves were not affected.
"we must figure this out" i said
"after we have a burger"
"the burger will be made of conditioner"
so then we....
so we drive up to the window we would like two hamburgers and two cherry cokes Ummm we are all out of that, how about some conditioner no we want burgers...it is okay if they taste like conditioner however sorry all we have is condiitoner well, tehn fine two please come around to the window so we leave surprising pleased by the taste of our purchase and proceed to get on the road. My friend who is blond then...
does "the blond thing" and talks and eats conditioner and forgets to pay attention to the road, which was especially hard to do since the road was shampoo. i was surprised when she actually stopped at a glob of shampoo arranged in an octogon, possibly a stop sign...however...
she just continued with her blond thing "yah yah yah yah yah" she continued. But then momentarily forgeting that there could be any one but herself in this universe driving, as she is terribly egocentric and has bad personal hygiene, not that I want to talk badly aboput My friend or anything, so forgetting this fact she suddenly goes foward and goes so fasst that she slides on the shampoo road spining out of control...when out of nowhere came
a small piece of shampoo, a cat maybe. but this did not really matter because a large truck carrying a huge bottle of shampoo attatched to some sort of strange device had just hit us,"BAM", and we were sent flying into a block of shampoo....
after my friend gall bladder was removed she was fine...the cat did not fare so well...I was able to walk away without a scratch although Occasionally I black out and wake up saying terribly clever things becuase I think that i am DOrothy Parker. THe end