a boy and his wiener
This is a story about a boy and his wiener. Little Johnny had a wiener
and he took it with him wherever he went. When he went to the beach,
his wiener was there. When he went to the movies, his wiener was there.....
One day Johnny woke up and his wiener was missing. He searched his
room frantically, but it was no where to be found. He asked his mother
if she had seen his wiener, but she just slapped him and washed his
mouth out with soap. Johnny decided that day that his sole purpose in
life must be to get his wiener back.....
johnny knew that he had not misplaced his wiener, he could not have done
that..nay, someone had stolen it! stolen it right from under his nose, so to
speak! he knew he could trust no one from now on, so he went out alone...
Alone, like a lone guy looking for something. Johnny questioned everyone
he saw if they had seen his wiener, but all he got was scorn and dirty
looks. So he decided to go to the police station and report that his wiener
had been stolen.
"sorry, kid. that's not our job, we have very important things to do. like
uhhh....you know...and stuff."
johnny said "no, you don't understand! i need my wiener, it brings me
but it was no use. then he thought he might hire a private investigator...
he checked his pocket for money.
"no," he thought, "i could do a better job myself, after all, no one knows
my wiener better than i do."
for it he had it all of his life and he had gotten used to its little habits
and ways. he went to the beach, but he didn't see it baking in the sun. He
went to the movie theater, but they were only showing Steel Magnolias.
his wiener had already seen that and hadn't liked the art direction. Johnny
was clueless as what to do. He sat on the curb and started to cry when an
odd man in a trenchcoat came up to him.
"Heard you lost a wiener."
johnny said, "yes i did" but at that moment he saw that his wiener had been
in his hand the whole time so he went home