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Reuben - Guitar
Reuben is made out of oatmeal and staplers, and held into the shape of two giant spoons by the force of his own gravity. It is generally acknowledged that he looks like "a sort of blue-green potato sharpener," and is the only member of the band who initially "knew how" to play his instrument. As a result, his guitar is the only instrument on many of the songs from the first album, but that doesn't matter because no one listens to the first album because it isn't good.
Holding several advanced degrees in the study of coolness, Reuben is in a constant state of horgoshma. Check out his weekly live internet performance, pltoktijtuhtygt.