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The Happy Happy Happys
1. Plate Tectonics
Plate Tectonics

2. Spiral Arms
(Spiral, spiral)
spiral galaxies have two or more arms
they can be either normal spirals or barred
in the spiral arms, Population I stars are found
they're hot, blue, and young and their orbits are round--i mean circular
open clusters live in the spiral arms
(Spiral!)
a few hundred loosely clumped stars eating lucky charms
(Huh?)
not really.
most of the gas and dust in a galaxy is in the spiral arms
(OH!)
the gas in the spiral arms helps to form some new stars
in spiral galaxies like the milky way that's ours
(Ooo!)
the dust blocks our view and makes it hard to see
through the spiral arms of our spiral galaxy

3. Pulsars
That red giant large-mass star
exploded--ow, Supernova Type II.
Leaving a very dense neutron star
which is made out of neutrons, too.
It spins so fast now
because of that one law
the Conservation of Angular Momentum.
Emitting narrow beams of radio waves
that sweep across space--
We see their beams when they point at earth.
This is called a pulsar.
Pulsars help us detect neutron stars.

4. The H-R Diagram
Hertzsprung and Russel
have a diagram named after them.
it's called an H-R diagram
Stars on the right side of the H-R diagram
are always cool and red
but as we move towards the left of the H-R diagram
the stars get hotter and are blue instead--
spectral classes O and B.
Stars at the top of the H-R diagram
have the most luminosity.
Red giants like Betelgeuze are in
the upper right-hand corner.
White dwarfs are near the bottom
but when stars burn hydrogen in their cores
the main sequence is where they ore:
in H-R diagram.

5. Life
If bulk is to be the measure of a planet's fitness to be the abode of living creatures, then must Jupiter be inhabited by the most favored races existing throughout the whole range of the solar system.

6. Type I Supernova
(Spaaace!)
A supernova
of type I
happens
when a white dwarf accretes too much mass
from its companion.
White dwarfs
can't exceed the Chandrasekhar limit
because when they do
their carbon and oxygen burn.
It explodes.
Nothing's left of the white dwarf star
in a Supernova Type I
but it does leave a rapidly expanding cloud of gas
made of carbon, oxygen, silicon, iron and other elements.
oooo, boy.

7. Kepler's Laws
Kepler's three laws of planetary motion
first the orbits of the planets are elliptical
his second law states that the orbital speed
of a planet varies and the line joining
the sun and the planet will sweep over
equal areas in equal time intervals
then onto Kepler's third law
which says P squared equals a cubed
where P is measured in years
and a in astronomical units

8. Spectral Classes
the order of spectral classes from hot to less hot,
OBAFGKM,
is also an abbreviation for seven fruits.
orange banana apple fig grape kiwi mango

9. Orion
Orion is the brightest constellation

10. Telescopes
reflecting telescopes
are better than refractors
but diffraction still happens
so you need more resolving power
which can be accomplished with interferometry
but Earth's atmosphere still blurs the image
unless you put telescopes in space
so we put telescopes in space
in orbit around the Earth
like the Hubble Telescope
it's the Hubble Telescope
now i've just been talking about visible light
but there are telescopes for x-rays
and ultraviolet and infrared
and also radio telescopes.
ooo.

11. Outer Space Blues
Outer Space Blues

12. Water
Giovanni Schiaparelli saw lines on Mars in 1877. They became known as canals, which caused much confusion in the late 1800's, when people thought that the "canals" must have been built by Martians. Former vice-president Dan Quayle decided humans could breathe on Mars using a similar line of reasoning: Mars has canals, and that means there is water. Where there is water, there is oxygen, and if there is oxygen, that means we can breathe. Of course he was mistaken; Mars has only a thin atmosphere of mainly carbon dioxide, no oxygen, and no water.

Astronomers in the 19th century believed that Mars had oceans because through their telescopes, they saw red regions (continents) and green regions (oceans). They also saw polar ice caps, which actually exist. As far as we know, the Earth is the only planet with liquid water, though Europa, a satellite of Jupiter has a surface of cracked ice floes with some liquid water underneath.

13. The Moon
when you're on the Moon
you will not weigh
as much as you do on Earth.
The Moon goes through phases.
(Spaaace!)
The Moon is small
and has no atmosphere
when you're on the Moon
(Hey, we're in space!)
synchronous rotation
only lets us see one side
of the Moon
which causes our tides.

14. Black Holes
a black hole's escape velocity exceeds the speed of light.

15. The Sun
The Sun is a star. It fuses hydrogen in its core, which is 15 million Kelvin. That's hot. The Sun has spots caused by magnetic field lines. We can see convection on the Sun; that's granulation.
We orbit around the Sun. It takes one year. The Sun is yellow. Its radius is one hundred times the Earth's. Oh boy.
The Sun's spectral class is G2. It's on the main sequence on the H-R diagram. Uh huh.
The Sun is your friend. He's my friend too.
The Sun is in hydrostatic equilibrium. Good thing, too.
The solar atmosphere is in two parts. The chromosphere has spicules, thin columns of gas. The corona is thin and hot. The Sun, yup.

16. Planetesimals
why are some of the planets weird?
they get hit by huge planetesimals.
Mercury was hit by a huge planetesimal--
it stripped away the rocky crust.
now Mercury has a large iron core.
Venus was hit by a huge planetesimal--
slowed Venus down and made it spin backwards.
Earth was also hit by a huge planetesimal--
splashed off some Earth stuff that turned into the Moon
Uranus was hit by a huge planetesimal
that caused it to spin sideways
and created Uranus's moons such as
Miranda, which also was hit by a huge planetesimal
that broke it apart but it came back together
because of gravity

17. Solar Eclipse
a solar eclipse
is the Moon's shadow on Earth
it's a full eclipse
if you're in the umbra
eclipse.

18. Mars
Mars has some stuff on its poles like ice
and frozen carbon dioxide
but it doesn't have much atmosphere
only 4 of the one on Earth.
Mars is red and it has two moons
probably captured asteroids.
If there were people living on Mars
they'd have to build some new Martian cars.
Let's all live on Mars.

19. Wien's Law
a blackbody is a thing that reflects no light
the burner on the stove and the stars at night
are all examples of 'em
blackbodies are really quite neat
because Wien's law relates heat
to the strongest wavelength something emits
hotter bodies radiate more
strongly at shorter wavelengths.

20. Electrons
(Ahh!!)
electrons
orbiting
a nucleus
of an atom, which is made up of protons and neutrons.
electrons
have a negative charge, and are held in orbit by the positive charge of the protons.
electrons
only orbit at certain distances.
electrons
gain energy and jump to a higher orbit.
when it drops down to a lower orbit, it releases the energy in the form of electromagnetic radiation--a photon.

21. Solar Prominence
-instrumental-

All songs written by The Happy Happy Happys except "Life," with words written by Richard A. Proctor, and "Type I Supernova" with music composed by Bauhaus.

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